Intimate Details
by Ti-Jay
Summary: Set after final ep, season 2. What happens when the lines blur between friendship and romance.
1. Chapter 1

So sorry for the delay with my other fic 'How do I get the girl?'. I've been away. And while I have been away this idea came to mind and wouldn't leave. Hope you like it. Please review to keep my insecurities at bay. There will be more soon (on both fics). Tj. x

Ps. I do not own R&I, nor make profit from my words. Unfortunately.

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><p>Looking in the mirror for the first time since her altercation with Hoyt, Jane assesses the damage to her face. It's calm now. The party is over and she's at peace in the quiet of her home. Having had the time to shower and change, she leans with both hands upon her vanity space staring at the busted and angry skin on her forehead. The day's events flash by, and she sighs. Another scar. Another memory etched upon her skin. <em>'Let's hope it fades,' <em>she thinks to herself. _Bastard!_

Thoughts of Maura near the forefront of her mind. Images of her being held against her will and the cut to her throat cause tears to prick at her eyes.

"Dammit Maur…" she whispers to no-one but herself, "…why'd you have to be there?"

Remembering the hug she'd given her friend as she's left gave her butterflies. It was powerful… healing, and disappointing when it was over.

Her mother had made such a fuss about staying to care for her, Jane had lost herself in a rant about wanting to be alone. And though it helped to remove her over anxious mother, it left no other choice but for Maura to leave too. And now, as she stares into the mirror feeling exhausted and badly bruised, she really wished she'd made Maura stay.

Her body aches from its earlier adrenalin fuelled rage, and as much as her body would love the gentle cushioning of a bed, her mind is too ratty to settle there. She wants to see Maura, just one more time before going to bed… to make sure she's okay… but it's late. Far too late for a friendly phone call. What the hell is she gonna do now?

Muttering at her predicament she leaves the bathroom, turning her back on her damaged reflection. She finds herself grabbing her phone, and can't stop herself dialling the number. She needs this, as much as she hopes Maura does. It takes a while but when she answers, her friend's voice is soft, and shaky.  
>"Jane, are you alright?"<p>

"Yeah, Maur, I'm fine. I just wanted to chat with you. I hope you don't mind. I know it's late."

"No, it's fine."

"Good…" She nods her head. "Good… I guess I just wanted to see if you were okay… I mean, I let you leave and… I don't know if I should have." She winced at her neediness, hoping she'd masked it enough with her concern.

"It's fine, although to be honest I didn't really want to leave. I was hoping to spend more time with you once everyone had gone, but after your discussion with Angela, I didn't know what else to do."

"I know, I lost it..." She runs her fingers through her hair unconsciously. "… I just wanted Ma to leave, y'know? Didn't want her fussing and hovering over me… but I should have asked you to stay. I was in a fog I guess."

"It's fine. We both are, I expect."

"Yeah…" Jane sits, perched on the edge of her bed, wanting to imagine Maura doing the same. "So what you been doing since you got home? You still haven't answered my question. You been okay?"

She hears ruffling, blankets maybe.

"I took a shower the minute I got home. I could still felt him on me somehow…" She catches herself. "I'm sorry… you probably don't want to talk about it…"

"Maur, after what you've just been through, I'd be a shit of a friend if I didn't let you at least talk about it."

"I guess. I'm just cautious to speak about it as I still feel very raw. I don't know how long I was in the shower… for the first time the water actually went cold…"

The line went quiet, and Jane waited for Maura to gather her thoughts. It was taking a while.

"Sweetie, you still there? … Talk to me, Maur."

"I feel... shaken… and sore… my body's tired but my brain seems too agitated for sleep. It's frustrating."

"I know, I feel it too."

Their voices meld together in a quiet intimacy.

"Can I come over?" The request is tentative at best… uncertain… equivalent to what Jane is feeling now.

"Of course, please, I miss you. I mean, … it sounds extreme, but I miss having you near to me after this afternoon."

Jane smiles, a perfectly big grin. "Well, I'll be right over then, and I'll bring some of Ma's comfort food with me."

"Mmm, some of that cake would be delicious."

She laughs. "Okay, Maur. Sounds good. I'll be with you in twenty, okay?"

"Great. I'll see you soon."

Jane stares at the now dead phone in her hand, wondering if she'll be able to hold Maura again, hold her as she had before, full-bodied and uncaring of anyone who saw. The very thought of it got her racing to collect her things. She was suddenly looking very much forward to the rest of her evening.


	2. Chapter 2

The door opens and Jane receives a lovely sight. Maura's encased in a pair of soft blue cotton pyjamas. She smiles. "Hi, I can see you were aiming for comfort tonight."

"As were you," Maura replies, looking to her friend's black sweat pants and blue hoodie. "Come in. I've been waiting for the cake you promised."

Jane laughs, dragging an overexcited Jo Friday in to the kitchen before unleashing her. She begins laying out oodles of tuppaware when Jo barks loudly attempting to join.

"Hey!" She points at her flustered canine. "You've had plenty! I saw Korsak sneaking you cake tonight, many times, so quit it! This is for me," she thumbs to herself,"… and Maura."

Maura laughs. "I give it 10 minutes, Jane, and she'll be rewarded with something else. She's got you wrapped around her little… paw." Maura hesitates, wanting to say finger, but knows it's anatomically incorrect. Jane chuckles at the change, mumbling, "She's not the only one," leaving them lost in a stare of admiration. Jane catches herself, however, and breaks away.

"So, speaking of… how bout we dive into this food? I practically brought the whole cake, thought we could do a reverse and have dessert before dinner…"

Maura plays along with her need for lightness.

"Sounds perfect. I have a fortified wine that should serve as a lovely accompaniment." She turns to her cupboard, for just the right one.

"Um,… I don't know Maur." Jane smacks her lips together. "I wouldn't want you wasting the fancy stuff on me."

"Don't be silly." She comes back with a tiny bottle. "Nothing is ever wasted on you, and whether you like it or not it's perfectly fine." She pours them both a sample in two dessert wine glasses. "I think the palette will match the cake's rich chocolate tones, so if you're willing, I'd love you to try it."

Blushing, Jane deflects with her hands held up in surrender. "Okay, alright, but only if you have an extra dollop of cream." The challenge rests within their shared smirks, and Maura can't help but relent.

"Serve me your worst, detective. I promise to eat every ounce."

Sometime later, they're both sitting at the counter relishing in the mixture of syrupy goodness and chocolate-y heaven. Jane surprises herself by enjoying the wine, and Maura is failing to make a dent in the birthday cake, served to her Rizzoli style. She licks at the sweetness on her lips, smiling as the flavours evolve in her mouth. Amongst the stunning sensation, another overwhelmingly one takes hold of her right side. It's Jane.

"Hey, what is it?" Her voice is soft… gentle.

"I'm just trying to ignore the fact I was Hoyt's puppet for the last time... finding it hard to know if it's a good or a bad thing."

"Jane…"

"Maura…" She looks up at her. "You know as well as I do I followed his fucked up plan to the letter."

"With an alternative outcome…"

"No…" She shakes her head and goes back to her food. "I got lucky."

"Luck had nothing to do with it. You're a trained officer…"

"You know what? Forget it." She throws her fork down and stands up, moving to the sink to get some water. "He's dead now. That's all that matters."

Maura watches her, full of tension, hiding behind her large glass of water. Words pour out of her mouth before she can stop them. "You don't have to hide from me, Jane." The pause of motion is telling. She moves to stand by her side, and watches as Jane lowers her glass, swallowing nothing but air instead.

"I'd like to think that you see me differently than your other work colleagues, or even your family…" The glass shifts to the granite surface. "I know what it means to have someone independent, someone to confide in and share your most vulnerable thoughts… without having them thrown back in your face in jest." She reaches for Jane's hand, noting her troubled eyes and shallow breath. "_You_ give me that, Jane… you've given me something I've never had… and I'd like to think you could trust me enough to give it back to you in return."

Jane's eyes flutter close as she takes a deep breath. She whispers Maura's name before scooping her body flush against her own. "It's the only reason I'm here. I didn't want to be alone, and holding you was all I could think of from the moment you left mine."

Completing the circle. "I think I've wanted it just as much."

The words hang in the air and their heart rates climb.

"Something changed in me today…" Jane whispers, "Something happened and I can't explain it."

"Because of Hoyt?"

"Yeah… " She shakes her head, "No…" Pulling back, but staying intimately close, she continues, "I can't stop thinking about you, of wanting you close. I don't know how to explain it... It's like… something's switched."

"Switched?" Maura feels her nod. "Do you mean… I-I don't want to assume, but… is it about us?" She sees her smile.

"Good guess." And this causes one of her own. Jane falls back into her hold. "I could blame it all on Hoyt, but I won't… I just… I don't know what to do."

Maura squeezes her, one hand melting into her hair. "What do you feel like doing?"

"Just this…" She squeezes back. "I wanna hold you. I know it's crazy and I've no right to…"

"No, no… it's not crazy, and I could never mind you holding me. I told you… I want whatever this is, just as much."

"Good…" She turns them, rocking them in relief. "God, that's good, sweetie, cause I gotta tell you… without you I feel like I'm going insane."

"You're not, sweetheart… I promise you, you're not."

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><p>Please review. (Thanks to those who already have!) Tj. :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much everyone. So glad you like it! :)

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><p>A few days had passed and neither woman had had the luxury of spending another night in each other's arms. Jane had caught a case that left her running all-nighter's until a member of the victim's family finally caved and confessed their guilty conscience. She was now at Maura's for the first time since her clumsy admission, and she felt strangely on edge, twitchy, almost.<p>

Maura could see it, in the jiggle of her thigh, and the glazed stare aimed at her beer. Her brow was wrinkled, and tense, and Maura wanted more than anything to run her fingers through her hair and sooth her skin. She didn't though. She waited. She waited for the overtired detective to let her know what was appropriate for them, in a physical sense. Yes, they had held each other, slept in each other's arms that night, but there had been no kissing, just restful lips in a mess of hair.

She brought the remaining crisps out in a bowl. She'd bought the baked variety so she wouldn't feel guilty for feeding Jane's cholesterol. Placing it on the table she sat down, close, but not close enough, for Jane.

"Are you okay?"

It surprised her that Jane could still be so thoughtful when wired, but again, it was what she'd come to rely on. No-one had bothered being so kind to her before.

"I'm fine… but I'm worried about you."

"Me?" She looked incredulous. Her jiggling stopped. "Why?"

"You… you're stressed… and I'm worried that it's because of me." By the time she'd finished she was looking down at her hand as it brushed against the back of Jane's.

All air left Jane's chest, and her statement pulled at her heartstrings. "Maura… honey, I'm sorry."

Her sincerity leaves her yearning for contact. "It's okay," she whispers, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder. The hand she'd been toying with clasps her own, and a kiss falls softly to her forehead.

"I don't want you to feel pressured, Jane. I'm happy with whatever you're willing to give…"

"No, Maur…"

"I am, Jane." And suddenly her comfort is gone.

"I don't want you to be grateful for my time, Maur. We're equals in this, which means when I'm being an asshole you get to call me out on it."

"But you're not! You weren't! You're just tired, and I'm sorry. I miss-read your exhaustion for…"

"No, you didn't." She hides her face in her hands. "You were right." She sighs. "I just… I can't stop thinking..."

"About what?"

"About us… and… what we did the other night…" She hates the sudden stillness in the room, and rubs her eyes. "I just… I wanna be happy about it, you know?" She starts talking with her hands. "You're my closest friend and I… God, I sound like an idiot."

"You don't…"

"I just… I can't get a handle on this, Maur… I know I could logically spin it and say nothing's happening, but I don't wanna do that."

Maura sighs in relief.

"Maybe it's just gonna take me a while to get used to all this…" she rolls her eye, "… which is so completely stupid… christ, it's not like this has never happened to anyone else. It's not so fuckin' abstract, is it?"

Maura steals herself to be patient. "No…" she answers, praying Jane can get through this and still want to continue with whatever is growing between them.

Jane gets up to walk out her frustrations. "Why can't I just be happy?" she mutters. "I mean what the hell is so wrong with this…" she gestures between them, "…that I find myself feeling so guilty about it all the time?"

Her hands flail and her body reacts. She's so tired but she can't seem to settle her internal conflict.

"Then there's Ma, right?" She focuses on the floor and bites her lip. "She's gonna flip. I've got no idea what to tell her or how to explain it."

"You don't have to."

"Of course I do! You _have_ met my mother, right?"

"Jane…" She finally gets up, and walks over to her. "She's your mother, but she doesn't get to decide how you live your life." She ignores the scoff and continues. "I love Angela, and I love that she is more involved in your life than my own mother is in mine…"

"Yeah, too much."

"That's exactly my point."

They share a look of revelation. Jane's posture deflates.

"But she's my Ma, Maura."

Her tiny voice speaks volumes. We all need the love of our parents, but it's the boundaries that are hard fought for, that are so required. Maura soothes the pinched lip from Jane's teeth with her thumb. She unfolds her hands that have been wrapped around her waist and holds them.

"I know she is, sweetheart… but you have the right to some privacy… and if, at present that need for privacy relates to me, then I'd like to help you build some boundaries so you feel safe with whatever's growing between us."

"How you gonna do that? Tie her up? Take her hostage?"

She smiles, a most affectionate smile.

"I'll help you to speak up, less out of frustration and more in explanatory terms. You need to push for the boundaries you want so that we don't need to define ourselves. I know you care for me as I care for you. Whatever develops between us is between us." She pauses. "The first step would be to stop going out on those blind dates she sets up with."

A raucous laugh bursts forth, and Jane takes her in her arms. "I'll never go on one of those again, sweetie. Not on your life!"

"Good because it won't keep you in my good books if you do. You'll be in the hen house, detective."

"Doghouse, baby," she says, as she sways them.

"Oh, but that can't be right."

Jane pulls back. "Why not?"

"You're neither masculine nor brutish enough to be compared to a dog…"

"Well, thanks." She laughs.

"… so I prefer the hen house." Maura nods. "Keep that in mind for future reference."

"I will… not that I ever wanna end up in it."

"No, we'd have to build one first. I've always wanted chickens. Although the prettier varieties aren't very good layers…"

The innocence displayed was all Maura, and Jane immediately lost her apprehension. She lifts her up throwing her over her shoulder, interrupting the description of chicken breeds, both women laughing and squealing to the couch. She may never stop being enamoured by this woman, google-talk and all. She only hopes she can fight her weaker moments and not let her negativity win.

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><p>Thank you for reading! Please review! :)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for all your reviews. You're all wonderful! :)

Most of you mentioned how you liked seeing the vulnerable side of Jane in the last chapter. I did too. :) I know she's often seen as a tough, badass cop, but in so many scenes from the show her sensitivity is lying just beneath the surface... so I guess that's what I'm trying to express when I write her. Thank you so much for the alerts etc, and for letting me know I'm keeping true to the characters. That is the best compliment I can get.

Anyway, here's some more. I hope you approve. Tj.x

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><p>It had been a hard day. At 10am an anonymous caller advised the discovery of a deceased newborn stuffed into a trashcan at a local high school. The mother was nowhere to be found, and it was assumed she was one of the students. Everyone was not only troubled over the baby's death, but also extremely concerned for the possibly young mother's health. Maura had been working on the body for 2 hours but Jane hadn't been present due to running around questioning the school's faculty, students and parents. All leads were coming up blank. She felt like she was running in circles.<p>

They arrived back at the station with Jane leaving Frost in the lobby to go check in with their ME. What she found uncovered the softness of her heart from the outer shell she'd long built up as a detective.

Maura was seated in her office, head cradled in her hands, her body curled over and leaning on her desk. Jane recognised the small intermittent sounds breaking the silence. Maura was sniffing, quietly… and she was crying.

Jane entered, locking the door behind her.

"It's okay, Maur," she said softly, as she reached her. The ME tried desperately to pull herself together, annoyed with herself she'd been caught. "Hey, c'mon, it's only me," Jane offered, reassuringly.

She finally turns to show the strain on her face. She'd tried to keep it together all morning, but working on such a tiny, helpless little body undermined all of that as soon as she attempted to transpose her findings to hard copy. The lacklustre tone of her voice on the autopsy recording set her off, and she'd resigned herself to dealing with her emotions alone.

"I'm sorry… I was listening to my findings and my… emotions got the better of me." She sucked in air as Jane knelt to wipe the tears from her face.

"It's okay, sweetie. This one's getting to everyone."

"Including you?"

"Including me."

Maura looks away. _Of course Jane would be affected. She has such a beautiful heart._ She felt terrible at having asked her.

"Of course… I didn't mean… I just… I'm sorry. My behaviour is unprofessional."

"Hey." Her response is firm. "You're the last person anyone would ever call unprofessional." Her manner calms. "Now, how long has it been since you took a break?"

"I can't, Jane… I have to finish this report."

"That you're working on for me... Maura, honey, just give me the details and you can finish the paperwork later."

"No, I couldn't possibly…" she says, shaking her head.

"Maura, you're exhausted. Have you sent off toxicology & DNA?"

"Of course!"

"Then the main tasks requiring action are all done, so take a breath for christ's sake." She takes a breath herself. "Did you find anything? Anything relating to COD?"

"She was healthy, Jane. A beautiful, perfectly healthy little baby." Maura's face says it all, along with her next sentence. "She froze to death."

Jane grimaced. "Okay… Christ. Poor little thing… Look, there's nothing else you can do, and at the moment neither can I, so right now, we're both taking a break."

She tugs on the blonde's hands helping her up and pulls her over to the sofa.

"Jane…"

"We're having a nap, or you can meditate or whatever." She sits down with her hand in the air, still caught in Maura's who's still standing. "I don't know about you but just thinking about this case is exhausting."

"I know, but I couldn't possibly do what you're asking."

"And why not?"

"Someone could walk in on us for a start," she says, gesturing to the door.

"It's locked, so come on."

She tugs, but Maura still resists.

"We can't possibly both fit on my couch."

Jane grunts in frustration, letting go of Maura's hand. She places her arms around her pulling her close. Without realising it, she's positioned the woman between her legs and is now level with her tummy. She rests her face against it, savouring yet another new sensation before looking up.

Maura cautiously puts her hands on her shoulders, her balance off kilter causing her to lean in. Her line of sight sinks into sparkling brown eyes and Jane's raspy voice breaks their silence.

"You either get on here with me or I'm dragging you down here. You got that?"

Her breath is caught, and all she can do is nod. With a tender kiss to her stomach the detective fulfils her threat, and the ME finds herself lying against her friend. She closes her eyes, her head resting on Jane's chest. She curls her arm in front of her, atop of the detective's sternum, feeling slowly smothered by contentment.

"I've set my phone to go off in twenty. Try to rest sweetheart."

Maura feels the words as well as hears them. She locks this moment away as one of the most truly special moments she's shared with another being. With her Jane.

Jane sends Frost a text before settling.

_I'm off air for 30mins. Don't bother asking._

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><p>In the offices above, Frost reads the text in surprise. Korsak notices.<p>

"What?"

"Jane's sent me a message saying she's off air for thirty minutes. Wasn't she just going to see Dr Isles?"

A sense of protection takes hold of her older partner.

"You know how she gets when Maura's explainin' stuff. She doesn't like being interrupted." He aims for a distraction. "She's just pre-empting your pain in her ass, that's all."

Frost grunts at him. "Shut it old man."

They end the argument with a smile, and leave it at that.

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><p>With Maura having fallen into a light sleep within moments, Jane gets to immerse herself in the feeling of her as she stares into space. She doesn't realise she's doing it, but her left hand has been caressing slowly up and down the ME's back, and it's this motion that's lulled the fine doctor to sleep.<p>

_I can't believe I did that. _

She's thinking back to her embracing Maura, as the smaller woman was still standing. It was the thing of romance she'd seen played out in films. If Maura had run her fingers through her hair she would've been a goner.

She sighs, kissing a patch of fair skin that was closest to her mouth. She begins imagining the feel of Maura's fingers dragging across her skull. Her eyes close, and she remembers the touch of Maura's blouse against her face, her friend's hips leaning gently against her chest. Sadly, time is lost to her fantasy, and her phone reminds them of 20 minutes passed. Its noise and Jane's movement at silencing it, makes the sweetest, softest woman snuggle in a little harder. Jane smiles, and lays restful lips on her forehead. They share a quiet moment before facing reality.

"Maur," she rasps, "… sweetie, wake up."

Maura grizzles, and she chuckles. Sitting them up, she watches the ME rub her eyes.

"You're so cute when you're half asleep, you know that?"

"Mm… Did you sleep?"

"No…" she shakes her head, "… just thinking about the case." There's no way she could admit to what she was really thinking about.

"You run yourself too hard, Jane. It's not healthy."

"Look who's on the other side of the argument now, Maura," she says playfully, brushing her hand from the ME's shoulder to her fingertips. "I've gotta go. You take it easy, okay?"

She nods. "I'll do my best."

"I don't doubt that… hey, maybe come up in a bit and you can go through everything with us. See if there's something we haven't noticed."

Checking the clock, Maura estimates. "I'll be with you in 40 minutes."

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><p>Please review... Tj. xx<strong><br>**


	5. Chapter 5

The following morning, early hours, Jane had received a phone call about a young disabled girl at the local hospital's A&E ward. It tore her apart to think that this could be the one they'd been looking for, the mother to their deceased baby, but all the signs were there.

Uniformed officers who had attended the hospitals original request to report a minor showing signs of after birth injuries had put two and two together. She was fourteen, with what appeared to be a mental and emotional age of a much younger girl.

The implications made Jane weary. She was exhausted from the case, and the links now forming in her brain of what might have happened were only making her feel worse. In only twenty-four hours her life had been so affected by this little girl. A tiny being, who had had no memory of her or of anyone else. She hoped at the very least, that their little Jane Doe had been able to experience and receive her first hug. To know what it feels like to share the warmth of another body, or a gentle kiss to her forehead before disappearing from the world. She held her breath and swallowed it, making a silent promise that her existence counted, that baby Jane Doe wouldn't be forgotten... not by her, anyway.

She pulled into the hospital car park, and reported to the A&E reception showing her badge. She was shown through to a small curtained off area where a social services worker introduced her to Lucia. Shock reverberated through her system. There was no doubt in her mind now. This was a case for the Special Victims Unit. This girl had been taken advantage of, and was in no way of understanding what had happened.

As she left, with her part of the deal being concluded, she rang Maura. It was just after 5am, and although it wasn't the most 'friendly' thing to be doing, she couldn't help it. They were subtly moving beyond friendship now, and the good doctor was the only person she wanted speak with about what'd just happened.

"Dr Isles…" Her sleepy voice was reassuring.

"Hey, it's me. Sorry to wake you, but I just…" _…__needed__ to__ hear__ your__ voice._ Her larynx had tightened and her emotional state wouldn't allow her to voice it.

"It's fine. Has something happened?"

"Yeah, you could say that." She unlocked her car and got in. "We found her."

"The young mother to our Jane Doe?"

"Yeah… her…"

Maura sat up further in bed.

"What is it? Is she okay? Do you need me to come?"

"No, sweetie, it's alright… it's just… she's young, Maur… like really young… had to call SVU, she's at the hospital now."

The line went quiet for a while.

"Do you know what happened? Who did this to her?"

"No… and in all honesty I don't think I wanna know... not this time…" Jane rests her head in her hand, her elbow locked against the car door. She clenches her eyes shut hoping she's not about to push things too far. "Um, I know it's early, but can I come over? I could use a breakfast buddy… You know, keep my mind off…"

"Of course you can. You don't even have to ask."

It was what she was hoping for.

"I'll put on some coffee for you… maybe we can detour for some pastries on our way to work?"

"Sure… sounds good."

"And Jane?"

"Hmm?" She moves to start the car.

"Drive safe."

She smiles. "I will baby, don't worry."

The call ends before she can reverse her now newest term of endearment. A jolt of excitement ran through her veins the very moment it'd left her mouth. It was automatic, fearfully so, but yet it felt so right.

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><p>Jane arrived bearing pastry gifts and a weary smile.<p>

"How did you get them so early?" Maura asked, moving aside for her entry.

"I saw the delivery guy, and kinda used my badge to buy after hours."

"Jane…" She shook her head. "You never cease in pushing societal boundaries, do you?"

"Hey, I thought you'd be grateful. Now you get to primp and preen so much_ longer _than if I was chasing you out for breakfast."

Maura poured their coffees, wiggling her head in annoyance. "I do not _primp_ and _preen_."

"Yeah, you do…" she says with a smirk, "I've seen you doing it in the morgue too." She begins mimicking Maura's actions by fluffing her hair.

"I do not do that!"

They have a much needed laugh.

"I like to refresh after an autopsy…" Maura continues, moving beside her at the counter with their coffees. "… or would you rather I didn't and become an olfactory representative of sodium hypochlorite?"

"What?"

"Disinfectant."

"NO, god, no… c'mere…" She tugs her closer and tears the paper bag open holding their goodies. "I like your primping just fine, now choose your sticky goodness before I eat it. I'm starving."

"I choose… that one." She fingers her selection delicately.

"Apple slice… mmm, good choice." Jane tears a corner off of that very pastry preparing to eat it.

"But I just chose that…!"

And lovingly places it in the doctor's mouth. She blushes at her own actions but won't hide from it. The moment she'd stepped inside all the darkness of her hospital visit had gone. It made her want to indulge in all things Maura, without any guilt coming along for the ride, for once.

Jane took a bite out of her donut and sipped her coffee. As she looked up she found herself bathed in a loving smile. "What?" she asks, her voice is apparently shy. Maura shifts and wraps her up in her arms. It's nurturing and gentle. She rests her head on Jane's shoulder.

"I thought you'd be sad when you arrived," she comments.

"I was... but then I saw you, so..."

She shrugs out of embarrassment, and feels a kiss landing sweetly on her neck, below her jawline. She holds her breath and closes her eyes as another one aims a little higher, on to the sensitive skin closest to her ear.

They hadn't done much of this yet, kissing; and it woke up her entire nervous system.

Jane swallows wishing she had the courage to do more, to touch her lips against Maura's, but it was a strength that always seemed to evade her. She settled for something else, another type of intimacy, by turning her stool and pulling her safely between her legs. This was now her most favoured position. Having never been the giver of such attention, it had surprised her yesterday how good it felt. She sighed resting her head on Maura's shoulder as they cuddled.

"I'm glad I can help soothe you, Jane."

"Yeah…" she deflects, "the coffee worked a treat," and dodges the bullet that is now Maura's hand. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." She grabs her wrists and pulls her in again. "You don't know what you do for me, Maura." Making them stop and stare.

She shifts her gun so it doesn't dig in to her side too deeply, and places a kiss close to tender lips. She hears a slight catch of breath and sits back, smiling, before picking another bite of apple slice to give away. She holds it out for Maura to take but a sudden frown washes over the ME's complexion.

"Please tell me you've washed your hands since you left the hospital?"

"What? Maura, what do you think? I hate hospitals."

"I think the number of pathogens attached to your clothing alone would be in the high percentile…"

"You calling me germy?"

"What? No, Jane, I'm…"

"Maura! Magical Moments 101 says don't leave your significant other hanging or accuse them of being germ-ridden! Now, take it!" She holds the tasty morsel out again. "… take IT…" And places it neatly into a reluctant mouth. She licks her fingers afterward to prove her point of cleanliness.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" Maura's embarrassed, but then remembers Jane's argument. "Magical moments, huh?"

The officer blushes. "Shut-up."

"Oh no, I can't do that," she says, caressing Jane's face, "… because that would mean ignoring the sweetest implication of you being my significant other... and you are exactly that to me, Jane… I think you have been for some time... I'm so glad you know that without having had the opportunity of hearing me say it."

Respecting their still shifting boundaries, Maura leaves a kiss just shy of Jane's lips, and then moves to place some apple slice into the warmth of her love's mouth.

* * *

><p>Please review... I hope my presentpast tense is a little easier to read this time! Tj. :)


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay everyone, life has been a little hectic! I'm having to use an old laptop so if the font or the format is a little different that'll be why.

Thanks to everyone who have read and reviewed so far. I've written an extra long one to make up for the wait. Hope you enjoy it! Many thanks! Tj. xx

* * *

><p>Finding out just how much she meant to Maura had given Jane an impenetrable high all day. No childish taunts from the guys, nor the endless paperwork completing homicide's involvement with the baby Jane Doe case had managed to put a dent in her mood… until now.<p>

"Oh! Janie, I spoke to this real nice officer who hinted he was interested in you."

She knew immediately that letting her good mood sway her into taking her coffee break with her mother was a drastically bad idea. This could go one of two ways; she'd either be left with another blind date on her hands and the turmoil of how it would affect her relationship with Maura, or she'd finally have it out with her mother in the middle of the whole precinct, and be left to struggle with the guilt afterwards. Bad news either way.

"I don't wanna hear it, Ma."

"But he was real nice Janie, and _tall_," Angela says this raising her eyebrows. "He'd suit you, you know? You'd feel real protected under his arm..."

"I don't need protecting Ma. I can protect myself." She lifts her jacket. "You see this?" And points to her gun. "I have all the protection I need, now let it go and get me the coffee I came here for… please."

Her mother huffs and sulks over to the coffee machine, every movement displaying her unhappiness with her daughter.

"I just don't understand you…"

"Ma, for god's sake, drop it."

She was trying not to raise her voice. She really didn't want to lose it in front of the uni's scattered around the cafe.

"Well, I'm sorry! But you gotta get a life, Janie! One that's outside of your job…"

"My life _is_ my job, Ma! I _like_ it that way!"

Frustration began to surge through her body.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Angela lids the coffee cup but won't hand it over, effectively, holding it at ransom. "How are you ever gonna have a family of your own…"

"Gimme the coffee, Ma!"

"… if all your doing is working all the time? I mean you don't even have time to go on a date…!"

"Ugh! That's it." Her hands flair on either side of her face. "I've had it. Either gimme the coffee or I'm leaving." And wraps her arms around her defiantly.

"Why you gotta do that? I'm your mother!"

Jane is suddenly feeling very tired, her emotional high is lost. The only conciliation is when she sees Maura walking by the cafe windows and she hurriedly waves her inside. Angela meanwhile continues.

"I'm just worried about you. You work yourself too hard, you don't have time for anyone else. I'm not trying to…"

"Run my life? Are you sure, Ma? Cause it sure as hell feels like it."

Maura hesitantly closes in and Jane grabs her wrist, remaining focused on her mother. She takes a breath, and her first step in a million to come, as she fights for her current and unknown relationship. Her voice is low for Maura and Angela's ears only. "You don't get to do this anymore. I'm a cop, and I'm proud to be a cop. You don't have to like it, or understand it, but you _do_ need to accept it. Now give me my coffee, or I'm walking."

Her mother's jaw drops and guilt settles in her stomach. If it weren't for the reassurance provided by Maura with a slight brush of hand against her own, Jane would feel certain it would consume her. She looks to the cup her mother's still clinging to and drowns in her attachment. Unfortunately, Angela notices and frowns.

"Why you gotta hold onto her like that?"

"Oh, for the love of god!" And seeks solace in the ceiling, stamping her feet. "Just give me my coffee woman!"

"Maura would never speak to me like that! Or her mother! Would you Maura?"

"Actually, with all due respect Angela, I think you're mistaking Jane's need for personal boundaries as an affront to you, but this is all very normal. The most difficult of the parental instincts is the push and pull of letting go once the child reaches adulthood…"

Jane squeezes Maura's wrist in motions of gratitude, but again is distracted by the melodrama that is her mother. It's as if Maura hadn't spoken at all... as far as Angela was concerned.

"Honestly Janie, let her go! She's a lady, not one of your criminals!"

She smiles. "You're right Ma, she is a lady," and glances to her left to admire the view. "A lady who will leave if you don't shut-up! Now, I need to talk to her, so are we done? Have you finished interfering in my private life or do I need to set up camp?"

"Oh, for god's sake here! Have your coffee!" Angela slams it down, all thankful for the lid keeping its contents in place.

"Thanks!"

"About time." One of the uni's pipe up from the background.

"Oh shut it, Vasquez!" Jane yells, taking a much-needed drink of her sought after beverage. Once she settles, feeling more in control of herself, she ducks her head to meet her mother's eyes. "I love ya, Ma… you know that, right?"

Angela huffs. "Yeah, well, I might just love you too," she mumbles, pouting like a child.

"Good. Now serve the nice officers and don't go setting me up with any of them, okay? No more blind dates. You got that?"

"Fine!" she answers in her usual flair before turning to the next in line. "And what can I get for you today?" As if nothing has ever happened.

Both Jane and Maura creep out, heading to the elevators, shifting to hold hands as the doors enclose them.

* * *

><p>Only two hours later, Jane hits the elevator button hard, her frame once again marred by frustration.<p>

"What a fuckin' day," she mumbles, "Damn it, Korsak!"

It was the second time today her tension's been caused by those closest, not some creepy perp she doesn't give a crap about. She shakes her head, knowing full well who she's really mad at. Herself. She has snapped at the one person she never wanted to upset, and now she was racing down to the morgue to apologise.

Korsak had been ranting about his most recent ex, and her accusations regarding the death of their short lived marriage.

"_Says I need to see a shrink. Can you believe that? Says I drink too much, eat too much crap and work too hard. What the hell else am I gonna do when I'm drowning in this filth!" he says, slamming a case file down hard on his desk._

What should have turned into a brush off of reassurance became an intense discussion about the health hazards of letting off steam. Drinking, of course, being the most hazardous, and the conversation was lead by none other than Dr Isles, who had come in mid-torrent.

"Shouldn't have said it… you fuckin' idiot…" Jane mumbles as the elevator shifts, leaving her stomach far behind. It makes her dizzy and she feels sick, but she knows it's more of a side effect to having ruined something so perfect and so new.

What Jane shouldn't have said was… _"__You__ know, __you__'__re __not __helping.__" _

"_I'm not?" questioned the ME._

"_No. You know as well as the rest of us how shit-house this job can get. You need to cut us some slack and lay off. You and Korsak's ex-wife."_

"_Well then, I had better take my leave. Excuse me, detectives. Have a good night," and as she left, Maura looked to her. "Jane," was her parting goodbye.  
><em>

Everything was spoken in that one word, her name slapping her in the face, just as she deserved.

"Fuck!" Jane hits the metal box as she exits, ignoring the pain and walking into the morgue to find it empty. Her heart pounds and she worries that Maura was so angry she's packed up and left for home.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," she chants in quick succession, relieved when she finds her seated in her office. Jane knocks politely hoping rejection isn't Maura's first reaction.

"What do you want, Jane? I thought you needed me to cut you some slack. I can hardly do that when you follow me to my office now, can I?"

She attempts to focus on her paperwork but it all too quickly it becomes an act. Her eyes glazing over, hoping above all that Jane doesn't call her out on it.

"I'm real sorry, Maur…" Her voice is tired and weary, matching the one Maura heard in the early hours that same morning, when Jane had just met Lucia, the young mother of their Jane Doe. She looks up immediately and sees heart ache.

"What is it, Jane? Did I really upset you or is there something else? I realise I have a habit of over extending but…"

"No, Maur…" The detective comes closer, waving her arms to wipe out the thought immediately. "I just… I don't know… after the run in with Ma, I've just been…" She looks away, is out of focus. "To be honest I just feel like crap."

It troubles Maura that Jane still feels the need to hide her vulnerability from her. She stands and removes the existing barrier of her desk from between them.

"I know there was more to your altercation with Angela than I witnessed, but you didn't seem willing to talk about it earlier."

"I know…" Jane crosses her arms out of habit and bites her lip. Maura mirrors her stance before her. "I just... hate yelling at her, y'know? It might seem like it's my standard persona with Ma, but it's not something I enjoy, ever..."

"It was very intense, I admit that, but you were far from yelling, Jane." Maura's hands leave their huddle from around her own waist, and grip onto Jane's forearms instead. It was a solid hold, hoping to ground her, wanting to remove all uncertainty surrounding her actions.

"Well, regardless... she was trying to set me up again," and cocks her head, "Surprise!" And they allow a small chuckle between them, keeping it light. "And _then_ she went on to tell me about what's best for me, neither of which was my _job_, or you for that matter… not that she knows about us, or what's happening between us…" Jane sighs. "I'm just so tired of everyone being in my business, Maur... and I took it out on you." She holds onto Maura, onto her sides. "I'm so sorry I was _such_ an _idiot_."

"Well… I may have… ventured a little too close to lecturing when speaking of the dangers of binge drinking."

"Oh, really?" She's relieved when Jane's smile returns. "Are we admitting fault, Dr Isles?" Their bodies sway a little, as they tease.

"No," Maura says, shaking her head, laughing when Jane does the same. "Well... not entirely." Making Jane shift direction, nodding instead, with Maura soon to follow. They laugh a little and share in one of their trademark smiles designed for comfort from afar. Unfortunately, they're both aware of the fact the office door is ajar, leaving their time open to interruption at any moment.

"Have dinner with me tonight?" The question comes so easily for Jane.

"Of course." And then relinquishes her hold on the brunette, not trusting herself to maintain their gentle appreciation of each other. Maura sits behind her desk again, and says, "Unless you wish to blow off some steam with your colleagues instead?"

Jane chuckles. "Nice one, but I'd rather blow off steam with you at my place, than in some seedy cop bar with cheap wine."

"I look forward to it, Jane…" she says, flashing her a smile,"…to you and your tension."

Her body reacts immediately, having just been slam-dunked by Maura's sensuality. Jane laughs nervously, never really experiencing this side of her other half yet. "Wow… um… that's just…"

"What?" Maura can't contain her smile.

"Okay, stop that!" Jane points at her, desperate to control her blushing.

"Stop what?" She wiggles innocently. "Honestly Jane…" And giggles.

"That! That right there! You are _not_ innocent Maura Isles! I know you know what you're doing! You and that cute little dimple of yours..."

Maura can't help herself now, and is openly laughing. "Jane! I didn't do anything...!"

"Nope! Nu-uh!" she says still pointing. The stunning detective feeling all kinds of flustered now. "You keep that little vixon to yourself, or I can't be held accountable…"

"Accountable for what?" she pushes, raising her eyebrows.

Jane blushes further at the thought. "Oh My God!" And smacks herself in the head. "That's it, I'm going!" Whacking the door frame as she leaves.

"Don't hold back on my account, detective," Maura says calmly under her breath. She turns back to her paperwork and admires the slow building hum coursing through her body, from the waist up.

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><p>Please review. Tj. :)<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone, :)

So sorry for the delay. End of year took its toll on my writing time but I'm getting through everything so updates should come a little more often. Thank you so much for all your reviews. Hopefully this one is worthy of some too. (I sure hope so! It's been a challenge to get it right, lol.)

It's a long one, so maybe you can tell me which parts you like the most. I didn't want to separate it 'cause I felt it was important to be read all at once. Enjoy!

Cheers, Tj. xx**  
><strong>

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><p>It was later than she expected to be leaving, but Jane had finally received the one thing she'd been waiting for, IA's official clearing of her last and final incident with Hoyt. She'd let Maura know and they'd both decided it was best for her to sign off on her acceptance straight away. It was better for them both to take that final step and say goodbye to what was one of the most traumatic parts of Jane's life. And it would take time... time to read through the official statement of events and investigative documents, adding her own notation of acceptance and signature; which is why she was only now turning off her computer and locking her desk draw for the night.<p>

It was 7 o'clock and the relief of getting that final piece of closure took along with it the last of her energy reserves. She was bone tired. Jane clipped her gun to her belt and heard the bullpen's door open. She swung around, letting her chair do all the work and saw Maura, standing in the doorway looking lovely with her hand lightly clinging to its frame.

"Come on," she commanded gently, warming Jane's weary heart.

She'd been so strong today, pushing herself through from early morning, having to deal with her mother and what could have been hers and Maura's first fight. She was feeling it all, and the simple tenderness Maura just aimed at her brought tears to her eyes. She turns away quickly, fluffing about in search of distraction, glancing to the sky briefly, asking gravity to keep her tears in check. She didn't want them falling, not now. Not at work.

"I'm coming," she manages, not really understanding the whirlwind of emotions running through her body. Was it relief at finally seeing the day in? Or getting clearance from Internal Affairs? Or maybe she'd just hit that horribly annoying emotional stage of exhaustion. She didn't know, but she did want to get out of there as soon as possible with minimal attention to her sensitive state, even from Maura.

Standing by the door the ME waits patiently, not wanting to impose on Jane. She watches her slide on her jacket, noting the imbalance of her weight distribution and the haze of her movements. Concern moves her forward, and she reaches out to hold Jane by her elbow.

"Are you okay?" she asks, in a tone so often unheard by anyone else. Jane knows it, and the feeling makes her blink madly and laugh nervously.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Why you asking?"

Knowing better than to answer Maura shrugs, looping her arm through the one she was holding.

"Shall we?" she says, and smiles. Jane's body eases.

"Only if you pick the place, I'm too tired to care where we go… 'though I'm kinda feelin' like calzone for a change."

_Mm... comfort __food._

"Oh good! Because I have a sudden craving for osso bucco! You have good taste detective."

Smiling, Jane feels her body recharge. She opens the door for her girl.

"I certainly do, Maur." _When__ it__ comes__ to __you._

* * *

><p>"You're mean…" The pout on Jane's lips says it all.<p>

Dinner had been wonderful but the moment her calzone began lining her stomach, she felt her fatigue set in again. Maura giggles a little as she looks over to her whiny passenger before focusing back on the road. She'd watched her detective slowly dissipate into delirium over dinner, and now her very bad ass girlfriend was very bad ass adorable.

"Why am I mean?" she prompts, "Tell me..."

"Because!" Jane toys with her hair as she supports her lean frame against the passenger window.

"Because of what?"

"Because of you! You did that whole vixen thing before and damned if I didn't go upstairs lookin' all flushed and stupid!"

Maura laughs.

"It's not funny, Maura!" Jane tries and fails to reign in her own laughter. "I had Ma on my case today yelling the house down about finding a man, and then you go and get me all flustered so Korsak and Frost could join in!" She pouts more, and sinks further into her seat. "S'not fair…"

"Aw, honey… I'm sorry."

Even though she wasn't. Spotting the cheshire-like grin Jane sulks a little bit more, a gust of air leaving her mouth in exasperation. "You're not sorry. Just look at you."

"Oh… what?"

"You know _what_, Maura!" she says, pointing accusingly.

The ME shakes her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you lie to me, woman!" she says, enjoying their time together immensely. "Even if you believe you're not having a torturous effect on me, that is _not_ _fair!__"_

The good doctor gets herself under control, fearing the next step in Jane's exhaustion will be tears and reaches over, grabbing the offending pointing hand.

"I admit… it may have been a little underhanded teasing you like that, but I felt that you needed a release of tension…"

"More like an extra boost," Jane mumbles.

"Well, that wasn't my intention. I was trying to lighten the atmosphere in the room… you've been through so much today…"

"Yeah…" Her voice drifts. "It's been a long-ass day." And she becomes pensive.

"Stay with me tonight?"

Her offer breaking through Jane's thoughts. "I don't have anything with me."

"That's fine. I'm sure we can manage to find you something comfortable."

Jane's eyebrows raise, and Maura cuts off any implications. "I do own sweatpants, Jane."

"Yeah, but what kind? Are they made of silk? With little girly flower motifs?"

Maura scoffs. "They're a simple black cotton actually, with no flowers or embroidery…" She squeezes her hand. "They'd look good on you." Making her love blush.

"Okay, fine. I accept your invitation… along with your 100% cotton pants."

"Oh, Jane… if the clothing is your only enticement my feelings shall be hurt."

"Don't start woman..." Making them both laugh. Jane looks out her window. "It's not the pants, Maur," she says softly, "It's all you..."

* * *

><p>Sitting on the lounge together, Jane nestles into the cushions dressed in Maura's sweatpants and undershirt. She's so tired and it's only 10 o'clock. She looks over to Maura next to her, reading through papers about a new board member for her mother's charity. It was something she was reluctant to do in Jane's company, but the detective figured out it was important when Maura received yet another phone call from her mother's PA requesting her response. Jane didn't mind. She just liked relaxing in what was now becoming a second home to her, with the one person she could sit with and not feel pressured to converse.<p>

How did she ever get so close to a woman like this? It was a question that ran endlessly through her mind, ever since the night she'd held on to Maura and not let go. She remembers past admiration she'd felt for other girls growing up, and some of the women she'd come in contact with since adulthood. She'd always thought that that was all it was, admiration, respect, but now she realises there was a continuing image or feeling running alongside that respect; a need to be close, of wanting to share something beyond a smile with every one of them. Her vision shifts back to the tv and she wrestles some more with those particular thoughts.

What did she want from them, really want? She bites her nails and her knee jigs. The feeling of the cushion bounce stops her, alerting to the fact it would disturb Maura's concentration. She flashes back to the faces and names of the few who drew butterflies in her chest. She wanted to… to what? To touch them? No… not intimately… well, not sexually… but she wanted to touch them… their hands, skim her fingers across their skin… and then a sudden warmth of realisation burns from the centre of her chest. She'd wanted to hold them… and be held by them… but is that all? She thinks so… but... with Maura… she looks across to her now… with Maura… for the first time, she's wanting more.

To kiss her face… to do... maybe more… but in picturing doing more it sets her flight response on edge. Was she really ready for that? Could she kiss Maura and press her body against hers while naked? Did she even want to see her naked? Yes… and no… she didn't know… and this was why she always held back. Why she was scared to move forward. She wasn't about to screw with something so important, and felt every move she made she had to be sure of.

Jane crushed any more soul searching. There was a place she really didn't want to go even though she knew she'd have to do so soon. History needed to be dealt with but she couldn't face dealing with that today.

The soft, pale skin of Maura's wrists and manicured hands made her yearn to reach out and touch them. No-one would know the left overs of heartache and violence they have touched. The horrors only a beautifully strong person could contain. She skims her fingers along Maura's forearm down to her wrist, curling her hand so it spoons the doctor's. All concentration is lost and her girl looks up, but Jane's vision remains focused on her hands and what they can do. _She __can __take __mystery__ and __make __it __tangible_, she thought. _Incredible._

A thumb belonging to the hand held brushes over hers. She looks up and can see Maura's questioning eyes, a look of concern etched upon her face, and then all she can see is the red mark standing out in horrible contrast on Maura's neck. It had healed enough for the scab to be gone, but it left a nasty red line tarnishing her skin.

"Jane…" Maura knew what Jane was looking at. The uneasy feeling of that day begins racing through her heart and distress starts to shine through her love's features. "Honey…"

She's cut off. The detective leans forward, replacing the harshness of the scar with her mouth. Maura closes her eyes as she feels Jane's tongue lightly trace it, and her gentle lips try to replace the pain. It brings tears to her eyes; little knowing the same was happening for Jane.

"I hate that he touched you like that."

And they look at each other, studying emotions and tears that refuse to fall.

"I'm okay," she says softly, the urge to kiss Jane is strong.

Their connected in such a way she doesn't feel her own movement until it's too late. Jane's reflex pulls them apart, but Maura sees her lips are open, parted and wanting. She's confused. They both are, but Maura settles her emotions first, changing her aim away from Jane's mouth and down to her clenching jaw. She kisses her and they remain sheltered, too close to focus but far away enough for confusion to remain at bay.

"You're beautiful," Maura whispers.

_I__'__m__ fucked __up._ But Jane shuts her eyes to that response. There's a harshness inside that ruins her often. A bully she can never escape from. She squeezes her eyes and lets her tears fall before clearing her throat and wiping them away. Their moment is gone... and she needs to be gone.

"I'm just gonna… go take a shower, okay?"

"Of course," Maura smiles in the hope of conveying everything's okay.

"Okay," she says more to herself, and gets up rubbing her thighs as she does. She flashes Maura a quick smile and walks away, leaving the doctor stunned but truly touched.

* * *

><p>Entering the bathroom Jane is distraught. <em>What the hell is going on today?<em> She's on an everlasting rollercoaster and feels out of control. She kicks the high priced laundry bag, thankful it's mainly made of cloth. Her tears fall and she ignores them, ignores them all... turning on the shower and getting quickly inside so the waterfall can disguise her outpouring.

* * *

><p>Maura freshens up in the guest bathroom, finding novelty in the things she hasn't touched since their purchase. She worries about Jane, hoping her emotionality is due to the length of her working day and fatigue, and not due to the growth of their relationship.<p>

* * *

><p>Jane smacks her face under the rain of water. She'd wanted to kiss her. She'd wanted to do it, so why couldn't she let herself? Rinsing for the final time she shuts it off, her internal voice, and the shower.<p>

* * *

><p>When she steps out into the bedroom she finds Maura already in it, in bed. Her nerves play havoc with her body, and her hands clench against trembling undertones. She hops into bed and lies down, hearing Maura ask if she's okay. She does what comes natural, and jokes that she's fine in reply.<p>

The lights are switched off, with purpose by her love, Maura hoping it'll help Jane feel less exposed. After all, she knows what it feels like. After a few seconds of listening to the shallowness of Jane's breath, she moves closer.

"Come here…" she says, and Jane curls towards her, onto her side. She can't control these urges, or the speed in which they're changing her life. All she knows is that she didn't know herself as well as she thought she did, and it's jarring. Her body curls into a ball and Maura moulds herself around her, pulling Jane's knees into the crease of her own hips, and her calves to rest upon her thighs. She draws Jane into her chest and wills her to let the tears fall, but it's quiet, and she can feel her normally strong detective holding her breath.

"Breathe sweetheart. Just breathe."

Rubbing her back she draws Jane's emotions to the surface, her sniffing eventually giving her away. Jane laughs, feeling both embarrassed and surprised.

"I'm sorry… I don't…"

"Sshh… don't fight it."

"Fight what? I don't even know what the hell it is I'm fighting…"

"And you don't have to… just… let it go." She'd heard this phrase before, not entirely understanding it, but she felt for the first time it was relevant to the situation curled up beside her. And it worked.

The tenderness of Maura drains her dry, and the need to be closer takes over. Jane straightens her legs, tangling them with Maura's. She can't understand what's going on, but she's brave enough to run with it. With her nose and mouth tucked neatly away against Maura's neckline, she soon feels herself calm. She sinks into Maura's frame, the copper blonde's arms holding her close. Long and relieving kisses press against her temple and forehead, and she breathes in all of Maura's goodness deep inside.

They move together, cheeks brushing, lips touching, and without thought, it finally happens. She is kissed.

Maura's lips are so soft, and warming. It's a sensation of intense proportions and it is comforting and unique. It's something Jane wants to feel again, and again, and so she does, the barrier of cloth between them removing all pressure of venturing too far. It allows them to experience what it is to be close, to be more intimate than they've ever been before, and for Jane to experience thoughts and feelings forever left unexplored. The same quote resounds time and time again in her head, and she manages only a part of it.

"You have absorbed me…" she whispers, and hides once more in the depth of her scent. The physicality of their touch is overwhelming. Maura rewards with another kiss, a brush of lips and light sway of tongue before they grip each other further with passion. Jane can never look back now. Not now that she's experienced her first kiss with a woman... with Maura. She's crossed the one boundary she never thought she'd have the courage to cross, and all is safe, and nothing has changed. Her mother hasn't burst through the door, and they've managed to share this private moment with only themselves. It proves to Jane it can be done. She can have a life of her own, and leave behind misguided self-imposed limitations. She sighs, allowing Maura to hold her and feels all the better for finally moving forward.

* * *

><p>It's the next day, and their last day of work for what will be a few days. Maura receives a text message interrupting her thoughts. She's been dreamy and reminiscent of their evening, and is now thankful upon seeing Jane's name that perhaps the detective is too.<p>

'_Bottom draw… xx' _

It's a puzzling message, and she writes back._  
><em>

'_Excuse me?'_

'_Look inside it sweetie. J. xx'_

Although cryptic Maura does so, walking back into her office. Inside her draw she finds a long stemmed rose cut to fit diagonally within its tray. She smiles with uncontrollable warmth, finding a small and understated card underneath. She opens it.

It reads:

'_You have absorb'd me,  
><em>

_I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving…'_

_This is as close as I can express how you made me feel last night._

_I want to feel it always._

_J. xx_

Placing the card to her chest and her fingers to her lips, Maura whispers the author of Jane's written quote.

"Keats..."

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><p>Please review... xx<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Omg, you have no idea how much I needed to write this chapter. My sweet little pussycat is sick! (That is not a euphemism!) She's an old lady and she's not doing too well. Send good thoughts people, please... I can't even consider her odd little self not being with me. :(

Thank you so much for all your reviews. I love them and take every one of them to heart. I hope you like this one. And consider this in response to TNT thinking Maura and Tommy make a good pair. I think not! ;) I'm stickin' with the first season. (Btw - Angela does not live in Maura's guest house in this fic. She has her own apartment. Yay!)

Hugs, Tj. xx

* * *

><p>"Don't see why you couldn't do this your damn self," Jane mutters under her breath.<p>

"I heard that!" exclaims her mother.

"Good!"

She can't believe she's spending her day off playing plumber to her mother's kitchen sink.

"It's your grandmother's ring! I thought you'd be just as worried as I am about losing it! It was to be left to you when I pass away…"

"… which will be soon I hope…" she mumbles.

"… and you know it meant so much to her! It was the most beautiful engagement ring..." Her voice lowers in thought. "It'll probably be the only engagement ring you'll ever get…"

Jane rips her head out from inside the kitchen cabinets knocking herself on the way. "I'll forget you ever said that! And you haven't lost it yet so stop being so damn dramatic! God!" She crawls back into the confined space trying the wrench another time. "Damn stubborn piece a shit pipe…"

"I'll believe that when I have it back in my hands!"

"Ma…! For the love of god, will you please just let me do this and stop..." She's interrupted by her phone. "Hang on a minute…" She pops back out of the framework and answers. "Rizzoli…"

"Jane…?"

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" It's Maura. _Thank__God!_

"Are you home?" She sounds a little odd.

"No, I'm at Ma's, why? Did I forget somethin'? We didn't have anything on did we?"

"No, Jane, I have to go… I…" She's flustered. "I'm sorry but…"

"Go where? Honey, is somethin' wrong?"

By this stage Angela's hovering above her looking suspicious. Jane mouths to her who's on the phone.

"What's wrong?" Angela whispers back.

The detective flashes her hands in a request to 'leave her the hell alone so she can find out!'

"I have to go to New York. My mother… she's hysterical…! She keeps phoning, saying the board members are fixing a coup d'etat to push her off the board! I mean it's ridiculous…"

"What?"

"A sudden and illegal manoeuvre against a governing body or group…"  
>"I know what a coup is, Maura!" She grabs the bridge of her nose, and takes a breath. "So… when the hell are you leaving?"<p>

"Now! I have to go now! But then I won't see you… and we'd planned to spend these few days together… and _flying_ off to my mother is _not_ something I want to be doing!"

"I'm coming round."

"What?" That voice was definitely not Maura's. _Damn __it!_

"Hang on, sweetie…" She places her phone against her chest.

"Sweetie? Honey? You're calling her honey now?"

_Shit!_ "Ma… I gotta go…" And grabs her jacket.

"What about your grandmother's ring?"

"It's in the P-trap!" She heads for the door. "You're a plumber's wife for christ's sake!"

"Ex-wife!"

And that makes her stop. _God damn__it!_ Internally stomping her feet. She turns around, feeling awful.

"I'm sorry, Ma. Look, I'll call Frankie okay? If he can't come round, I'll come back later and get it out, okay?"

"Fine! Go and do _whatever_ you gotta do that's so much more important than your mother..!."

_Ugh!_ Jane flicks her wrists in a vent before walking over and hugging her mother. "I've just gotta do this, Ma. Maura needs me, okay?" She holds her at arm's length. "Her mother's having some kind a crisis. Her _mother,_ Ma!"

This earns at least some understanding, resulting in a cute little pout. "Okay, fine."

"Thank you." She smiles and gives her another squeeze.

"You give her a hug from me!" She hears as she walks out the door, bringing the phone back up to her face.

"I'm coming, baby." Her smile grows.

* * *

><p>She knocks and Maura answers.<p>

"Hey." Her girlfriend is huffy. _Well,__ that__'__s__ a __first._

"Hi… you okay?" she says, amused.

"I feel like I'm going insane."

"Well, someone is…" She walks inside. "… a coup d'etat, Maur? Really?"

The door closes behind them. "And I thought Ma was dramatic." She follows her through to the kitchen.

"I just… I don't know what to do! As much as I realise my obligations, I hardly see the point of flying 215 miles to pacify an upper class mob who are behaving worse than any teenager campaigning for school elections!"

Jane barks out a laugh. "Come here, you…" She holds Maura tight. "Can I just say that I don't want you to go either?"

"God this is awful! I really don't want to go, Jane." Maura whines.

"Aw, you're so cute!"

She moves to cradle the doctor's face only to be on the receiving end of a glare.

"I am not cute, Jane Rizzoli!"

She steps back and points. "Well, tell that to your face."

"UGH!" Maura throws her hands up in the air and storms off to her bedroom.

"Oh, shit… Maura! c'mon!"

She follows, finding her shoving clothes into a giant suitcase. The handling of the ME's clothing starts to illustrate the gravity of the situation.

"I am not cute, I am upset! And I'm angry, and you obviously could care less about the discomfort I'm about to walk into…"

"Hey!" That does it. Jane turns her around and grabs her face pulling her close to hers. "You look at me and tell me I don't give a damn." Her look is fierce and it takes their breath away.

"I…" She's is at a loss, and before Maura can properly respond she feels the passion of Jane's kiss. The blonde loses herself, breaking free in order to breathe. "I didn't mean to imply…" She can't focus and Jane backs her up and on to the bed. "That reminds me of a popular culture reference…" She's losing her mind.

"That's not popular culture," Jane breathes into her neck where her lips are creating havoc.

"Wha…" She swallows. "What is it then?"

"Crap film making…"

They find themselves moving together subtly, thighs on either side, letting their bodies gain control. The mere thought of Maura not knowing what she means to her has set Jane's emotions alight. She craves to make her understand, to show her what it'll mean for her to be separated from her for the first time since what could have been the worst day of her life.

"Oh god, Jane…" Maura's hands grip her hair and their centres fall into a heartfelt and slow rhythm.

"I don't want you to go…" she breathes, looking down to the sweetest sight, "… and I don't want to be separated from you." She closes her eyes.

Maura reaches down, pulling her close. "Jane…" she whispers, and they begin to realise what is happening between them. They are close, so close… so close to spinning out of control and into oblivion. "God…" Jane whispers. "I have to stop."

Maura knows it and agrees, but that doesn't make it any easier for them. She too is wanting more for their first time together.

"Stop," she says, gripping Jane's face and halting her own body. "It's okay."

They gasp and cling, both struggling with their breath.

"Fuck!" Jane shifts to rest against Maura's pelvis, creating distance where she needs it most. "Oh my god…" Her body aches, and throbs, and she can feel Maura pulsing against her chest. "Jesus!"

"I agree… wholeheartedly." And then they laugh, sinking further into the bed. Maura wraps her fingers in Jane's hair, using her legs to push her back up, rolling them over so they tangle and embrace.

"That was…" the brunette splutters, "…that was…"

"Wow…"

Jane laughs. "God it was… wasn't it?" she says in awe, "Fuck me…"

"Jane."

"Sorry… sorry," she apologises, heeding her warning.

Two hours later and she's gone. Her gorgeous, sensitive, and adorable ME is on a plane, and she steels herself for the days to come, and the nights that'll be spent alone.

* * *

><p>Please review... thanks. xx<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

I'm so sorry for the delay! And for my lack of responses to your reviews. My pussycat is still going. It seems she has heart disease and there's no medication we can give her, so it's a 'wait and see' experience, seeing how much longer her little body is willing to give us. She's reasonably comfortable though. Just extra clingy, which tells me just how sick she is 'cause it's completely out of character.

Thank you to AnywhereElse, jellybelly, Mick-a-rana, denl, and Ozlawstudent for your kind thoughts. They're very much appreciated. :) xx

Also to, Raheema for your awesome review - I'll keep in mind the engagement idea. I hadn't even put that one together yet!

And to afret2010, Vargas1989 and heatwave16 for being constant, and to Dr Magnus, Chic-a-go-go and Kj for taking the time, and KITTYKAT for giving me a kick up the ...! Sorry if I've forgot anyone!

Here's a longer one to make up for it. Hope you like it!

Tj. :) xx

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><p>Kicking her shoes off, Jane tries to catch her breath from her run. She's just entered her apartment and it's dark out. She looks at the time, hoping for a phone call from her girl who should've just landed in New York.<p>

"Speaking of…" she mutters as she answers her phone. "Hey sweetie."

"Hi… are you puffing?"

"Yeah, just been on a run."

"Oh, I was hoping it was for other reasons…"

"Huh?"

"You know… finishing off what we started?" Maura smiles, receiving the silence she expected. "Do I have to spell it out for you, Jane?"

"No! Really, Maur?" Her voice clearly more turned on, than offended. "You're quite the little sex-kitten aren't you?"

Maura laughs. "Only with you..."

"Oh, I doubt that…"

"What? What does that mean?"

"Nothing, just that, um…"

"Yes, detective?"

"I'm just saying that I'm pretty sure you'd be as playful as this with anyone you're um,… dating. Hell, I could ask Slucky but that would actually involve talking to the guy and…" She shudders. "Ew… I am _not _volunteering for _that!_"

"Are you quite finished?"

"Ummm…" She swallows. _Oh boy._ "Ah, Yep… I believe I'm finished... ah, yeah…" She cringes, awaiting the worst.

"Good, now you let me tell you something… You, Jane Rizzoli, are the only one who's received such so-called 'torturous' attention..." Her voice softens. "I trust you, more than I have anyone else… to be able to be myself."

Silence covers them in sheer warmth, and Jane feels like she's close enough to touch her.

"… but if you don't like it…"

"Don't… don't ever say that… I just wish you were here," she says, when she realises she can't.

"I wish I were too… hold on a moment, sweetheart."

Jane can hear her greeting someone, there's movement and the sound of a car door closing. Suddenly the background is quieter, and the atmosphere between them, more intimate.

"Is that the cab?" she asks, plopping down on the couch.

"No, mother sent her driver to collect me."

"Course she did…" she mutters, once again forgetting the money Maura's come from, and then remembering the loneliness that comes with it.

"Jane…"

"Sorry… just ignore me. I'm just tired and grumpy."

"I know."

The detective laughs. "Don't mind me, Maur… just say what you feel."

"I will…" She smiles. "I miss you, and I'm sorry I have to do this, to be here. I hated leaving you after this afternoon."

"That's okay. I got me some nice memories to tie me over."

"Mmm… Me too… I look forward to sharing the full experience with you."

"God, woman," she breathes, "You gotta stop doing this."

"Why?"

"Cause if anyone else was in the room they'd be embarrassed!"

"Well, that's fine, as long as you're not..."

"If there was someone else here, I would be!" she whines, "Maur… You've got no idea… you do things to me… " She sighs, as every optional explanation seems too inadequate to vocalise. "Just… you know, this isn't a game for me, right?"

"I should hope not…" Her ME says with equally intimate tones, "… but I do know, and feel very much the same. Our relationship means everything to me." Jane nods, feeling unsure of her voice. "Please try to be patient with everyone while I'm away. I know that I ground you somehow, and I realise this is going to be difficult for both of us."

"Yeah," Jane agrees. "And you call me when it gets too much."

"I will."

"And if I detect even an ounce of sadness in you I'm going all cavewoman on your ass and demanding you come home!"

Maura laughs. "You'd be the most attractive likeness of any cavewoman I've ever seen."

"You're damn right! But I meant what I said. I don't want you caught up in some stupid ego-stroking bullshit. I might be blue collar but I know how this stuff works. I want this done so you can come home as soon as possible, alright?"

It was one thing to know she was cared for by Jane, but it was another to experience it. Tears sprung up in her eyes.

"I'm aware of what's to come, Jane, and I want to come home to you too."

Seconds pass before anything more can be said, both women realising just how strong their connection has become.

"… So, anyway, you know… just... come home soon, okay? Bass will be missing ya."

"Thank you, Jane... I mean it."

"Maura, what'd I say about that?"

Her lips curl with affection. "You said that I'm not allowed to thank you for caring about me."

"That's right."

"Well… thank you, just the same… Oh, it seems we have arrived. I'm afraid I have to go."

Maura takes a deep breath, psyching herself up to hide the oddest facets of her personality, missing her Boston family already.

"Okay, sweetie, you ready?"

Maura nods to no-one and waits for her car door to be opened. "I'm ready… bye for now, Jane."

"Bye, baby."

* * *

><p>Her days have been nothing but frustrating. The covering ME had been hard work to deal with and Maura hadn't been calling as she'd said she would. She'd call at night for a bedtime chat and maybe once during the day, but no texts, and most calls were kept short. Something was up.<p>

Jane was certain on more than occasion there had been unspoken tears, but for the life of her she couldn't get her girl to talk. It was beyond frustrating, and she was struggling with the distance.

It didn't help with the fact that no-one knew about their recent relationship developments. No-one was holding back their demands, and there was a definite lack of understanding from external sources for both of them. The strain was beginning to show. Korsak and Frost saw a distracted and often vague detective staring at her phone; while Constance witnessed fidgeting and an internal struggle in Maura she'd never seen before. All mannerisms were completely out of character.

"This is ridiculous," Jane mutters. She'd only just checked her phone for the hundredth time.

"What is?" queries Frost, sitting at his desk.

"Huh? Oh, nothin'."

She clips her phone back and attempts to focus.

"You heard from Maura lately?"

"Yeah, heard from her last night."

She tries not to fade under his watchful eye, and starts moving her papers back and forth.

"How is she? Can't say I envy her dealing with all those high-brows."

"Yeah well, can't help what you're born into, I s'pose."

"No... So, she doing okay, or what?"

"Yeah, she's…"

She was going to fluff over it, but changes her mind. There were some things her partner was good at, and that was having a chat when she was feeling unsure.

"She's just… I don't know. Something's wrong but she won't talk about it."

"She's pretty private sometimes, but I'd of thought if she'd talk to anyone, it'd be you."

Her heart clenches. _Don't come out, don't come out! "_"I know, right? I don't know… something's not right. I just can't put my finger on what."

"Is it her mum?"

"Nuh, don't think so. She's tricky… all this not being able to tell a lie means she's just better at omission."

"Have you asked her?"

"What do you think?"

He puts his hands up. "Hey, I'm just asking."

They sit and stare at each other for a bit, and then go back to their paperwork. Minutes tick by and she thinks the conversation's over but then Frost tunes it back in.

"Well, hopefully she'll be home soon." He shakes his head. "Sometimes, it's hard to believe she's been brought up in that world. Besides the fact that she's a lady… she's… kinda innocent, y'know? Like it's hard to believe she does what she does for a livin'. Cuttin' up dead bodies… man, I don't know how anyone can do that!"

"She compartmentalises…" she says thinking, looking up. "She said that once. It's like, she switches off from all the muck and looks at the puzzle instead. Maybe that's it."

"What?"

"Maybe she just can't talk about it yet. When she's surrounded by all of 'em."

"Maybe when she gets home she'll open up," he finishes her thoughts for her and she nods. He looks down at his desk. "You know, I'd back her in a heartbeat if anyone was to…" And then he thought of Hoyt and his anger swelled. "Hell, with the sperm donor and all… she should be protected from that shit! Well, you know. I don't have to tell you."

Jane watches him, giving his monologue to the items on his desk. That was how it was when it meant something.

"Thanks, Frost," she says quietly.

"No problem." He gets up smoothing his tie down his chest and looking at her. "I, for one, can't wait til she gets back. Your mood swings have been a riot!"

He smiles, winking at her before taking his leave quickly.

"Hey! You're swinging just as much as I am loverboy!" Causing every male within hearing distance to gawk openly. "Get you minds outta the gutter! !" She yells. "GOD! ! !"

* * *

><p>It'd been a killer of a day for several reasons. It was day four since their amazing make out session, and since her Maura hadn't been her usual self. The covering ME bore the brunt of her troubles, but as far as Jane was concerned he deserved it. He'd been griping on about Maura's impeccable set up, putting it down to her need for perfectionism. He'd unfortunately thought Jane and Korsak were in the 'Queen of the dead' club, willing to derive pleasure at Maura's quirky expense, but he was surely mistaken.<p>

"Over achieving is one thing…" he'd said, as he worked at freeing the deceased's heart, "but perfectionism near impossible, something even Dr Isles will eventually work out. God, that woman…" he shakes his head, "All kitted out in those damn dresses and only a dead body to keep her company? It's a shame… and a wonder she can get out of her house with all those OCD tendencies."

And that had done it. Jane lost herself in a protective rant over her girlfriend; his lack of professionalism, and the complete disregard he had for the body on his table included. If it hadn't been for Korsak, she'd have been put up on report, and as she sits now reading through Pike's autopsy report, she feels completely justified. She has a mountain of unanswered questions and wishes Maura was here to answer them, instead of him.

Her phone rings. She checks the ID and is thankful it's Maura. She still answers it professionally though, knowing the guys are within ear-shot.

"Rizzoli…"

"Hi, Jane…"

"Hey, were your ears burning?" Hoping she'd get the hint that she'd been thinking of her.

"What? Why would they be burning?"

"Never mind... how's life in the boardroom?"

The delay in response tells her all she needs to know.

"Hang on a tick…" And she seeks somewhere she can leave her detective self behind, so she can give Maura the girlfriend she needs. She moves out into the floor's foyer, into the nook of the stairwell doorway.

"You okay, baby?"

"Yes, I'm… I'm fine... I just miss you, I guess."

"But you don't guess," she says softly.

"No, I don't."

The shake in Maura's voice is telling.

"Maur…" Jane sighs. "I'm about to go all cavewoman on you. You'd better tell me what's going on, c'mon."

"I'm fine. I just… I don't know, I heard your voice and … I was fine before. I don't really understand it."

"It's okay... I think I know what it is. Ma used to do it to me all the time." Jane opens the door, and takes refuge in the stairwell, on the mid-level steps between floors. She sits supporting herself on her knees, her hands resting against her head while cradling her phone to her ear. "Whenever I'd call Ma when I wasn't well or upset as a kid, or right after I left home, all she had to do was ask if I was alright and the tears would fall. I got better at controlling it, but sometimes that connection just draws it outta me, you know? Make sense?"

"Yes." Her sniffing confirming her theory. "It does makes sense."

"You said you'd call but you haven't been. Well, not as often as I'd like. Why haven't you been calling me baby-girl?" The words linger as Maura struggles with her answer. "If it's getting too much you're meant to _call_ me, remember?"

"And I do, when it's a reasonable hour."

"No… damn it, Maura! I meant, anytime. Two, three, four in the morning… hell, I don't care! I know you like to keep it all together, but I'm here, even if only by phone…"

"I know, Jane, I…" Her emotions rival her control

"What's going on? You don't need to hold back with me, you know that?"

"The same doesn't apply here, Jane."

"So, come home! Christ.."

"I can't!"

"Why not? !"

"Because I have obligations!"

"And so do I! To you! And I told you, if I detected an ounce of sadness I'd want you home. I don't like this, Maur… I don't like this at all, you got that?"

"Yes... I've got you," she whispers.

"And I've got you…"

Maura's throat strangles with her tears. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply, refusing to lose control in the office environment and people she's surrounded by.

"What kinda tears are those I can hear falling, sweetie?"

"Jane…" Her face twists.

"C'mon, sweetie, out with it."

"They're... heartfelt ones... It seems you give me something I've never had before, and I'm not ashamed to admit that."

The detective took a moment to absorb Maura's words, her eyes closing with their impact. "Okay… I'll accept that… but, do I still have to go all cavewoman on your ass to get you home?"

This brings the small breath of laughter she was hoping for.

"As much as I like the sentiment, Jane, I think I'd prefer you remain as you are. My mother's just made things very difficult. She's used money for creative projects the board members abhor, and she's done so behind their back. It's all very childish and that's only part of it."

"Go Constance…" Jane chuckles. "People always stretch the rules, Maur. It's like they can't help themselves."

"Yes, well, with that being said, there are legalities for non-profit organisations and they need to be adhered to..."

"I know, honey..." She stops as she hears Maura curse under her breath. "What?"

"They're calling us back."

They both sigh.

"Okay, well... I should get back I guess. I'm kinda in the middle of the worst autopsy report…"

"Oh… is Dr Pike causing you problems?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. You good to go?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. I'm glad I spoke with you."

Maura tidies herself up, picturing Jane teasing her if she could see her.

"Hey, why don't you just text me in these crappy meetings? Could bring some relief?"

"Because it's a meeting, Jane. That would be considered inappropriate and rude."

"So stretch the rules a little. You know, like mother, like daughter?"

"Jane! I can't break etiquette like that! Do you realise what you're asking?"

"Yep."

And she hangs up knowing Maura will have to complete her 'etiquette' cycle by texting her goodbye. She sits back at her desk and her phone beeps.

_That was mean, Jane._

She writes back.

_4 ur own gd! And remembr, ur not one of them Maur, ur one of us. I've gt u. See you at the airport! J. ;) xxx_

And once again, Jane makes Maura feel more connected to her than she has with anyone else, and she's not even in the same room. The M.E. shakes her head, walking back into the stuffy boardroom wondering how in the world her detective does it.

* * *

><p>Please review... please? :) xx<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Wow... you guys are frickin' awesome! Thank you for all the encouragement. I've tried to get this out before xmas so our girls can be reunited. Hopefully some of you are still interested over the festive season to read it! ;)

A special thanks to zo. I can't reply to your reviews but you're another of my constant reviewers and I forgot you last week. Thanks again. :)

Hope this is worth the read... I think it is! (but I'm slightly prejudiced, lol.) See what you think.

Tj. xx

* * *

><p>The plush leather seat just wasn't cutting it anymore. Maura's back was stiff, and she felt uneasy, no matter how she positioned herself. She longed for the end of the day having played her part in what was now a long-winded process of negotiation.<p>

Three hours ago Jane had reminded her of who she was, where she truly belonged, and ever since her day had become a rather surreal experience. She began to realise certain things that'd never occurred to her before, and it was triggered by that one simple phone call.

Somehow, very simply, Jane had managed to shine a torch on the fact that Maura no longer needed to align herself with expectation. Her life didn't revolve around false pretence and mere acquaintance. She had so much more than that now.

Sitting amongst the stuffy suits, as Jane would call them, she felt suddenly grounded. An epiphany of sorts was happening inside of her; an acceptance of her own rather unique identity, knowing that those who mattered most loved and appreciated her choices, and those who didn't, were not near enough in heart to alter them.

Smiling very discreetly to herself, she zones out the droll legal proceedings and shifts to pull out her phone. To anyone in the room she holds the same air of professionalism, while on the inside, she's madly rationalising her behaviour to stop the blush from hitting her cheeks.

'_You could arrest some of these people for their dealings, Jane. xx'_

A moment later her phone vibrates an answer.

'_Sorry babe, not my jurisdiction. J. xx'_

She can't quite suppress her laughter, and all eyes suddenly fall upon her. She swallows, clearing her throat and raising her glass of water in excuse. "My apologies, please continue."

And even with that and the odd looks from her mother, she can't quite bring herself to relinquish her connection with home.

'_I laughed, Jane. Out loud!'_

Second reply:

'_My little rebel! Feels gd dnt it?'_

Wanting to laugh again, she drinks her water with large gulps. She signs off.

'_You're quite right. Mother's looking at me oddly. I must go. Xx' _

Her phone buzzes a final reply…

'_Jst flash your b-ful smile swthrt. And blame me if she asks. J. xx'_

Of course, she would think of everything. Ever the protector was her Jane.

* * *

><p>It was late… or extremely early, whichever way you chose to look at it, and Maura couldn't sleep. Old anxieties and misunderstood feelings had raised their ugly heads. She'd had to struggle through dinner, and had managed with enough grace for no-one to notice, but now she couldn't settle.<p>

She reached for her phone, remembering past conversations and hoped she wasn't venturing too far. It took a few heart wrenching rings to be answered, but eventually, she heard that one of kind, raspy voice.

"Rizzoli…"

"Hi Jane, it's me…"

Her voice wakes her detective fully, and Jane leans up on her elbow to check the time.

"Hey… sweetie… what ya doing?" she coaxes.

"I'm attempting to put into practice your offer of phoning anytime."

"Oh... okay, good… you not sleepin?" She rubs her face.

"No… it seems I can't when I'm longing to be with you."

"Aw, M…" The initial resonates until it resembles a low hum. "So tell me the worst of it. Is it your mother, the boardroom, or somethin' else that's got you so rattled?"

"It's nothing." But she answers too quickly, and her heart clenches with a familiar deception. "Or rather… it's… nothing new."

"M-hm… and what's the 'nothing new?'"

"I can't say…"

"Is it your mum?"

"No…"

"Your dad?"

"Jane, my parents are fine."

The detective sighs, noting the deflection of her question. "I wish you'd quit side-swiping my concerns."

"I'm not... That is, I don't mean to."

"Then what is it? What's the thing that's bothering you the most?"

"I'm just feeling uncomfortable and I not certain... it's as if I'm seeing things, behaviours that I hadn't realised existed before."

"Who's behaviour?"

She hits a tender spot and there's a long pause.

"Maur? Honey, you still there?"

"It's nothing," her voice is soft, "there's nothing to worry about, Jane. I'm just tired and I'm not making any sense."

"You are actually… there's just somethin' you're not telling me."

"Perhaps we should move on. I'd much prefer to hear about you. I'm fine…"

"No, sweetie, I don't think you are…"

"I'm just tired, Jane." She squeezes her eyes and rubs her forehead. "My emotions have got the better of me… you know I struggle with deciphering my feelings."

"You're good at hiding them too."

"Wha… how can you say that?" She's getting upset.

"I'm not picking on you, Maur, I'm just saying it takes a lot before something's worth you reaching out for… which is fine, but not when you're so far away…" Something else comes to mind and she can't help mumbling it. "… and don't think I haven't noticed you've never spoken about what happened with Hoyt."

"What? Jane! Where is this coming from?" She's confused. "We've already discussed that!"

"No, I did, but you… you talked about having an extended shower."

"Yes! Because I felt disgusting and raw! Because he… he…!"

"What, M?" Jane could hear her tears, but felt it important for Maura to say the words. "He what, baby?"

"Jane, there's no need to discuss this! I'm aware of the ramifications of that horrible day. My injuries have healed and he is no longer a threat to us. I don't need to go over this!"

"Because you're doing that thing you do… you're compartmentalising, but in doing that, you're not dealing with the emotional side… You're hiding from it."

"I'm not! I..." She centres herself. "Jane, I suggest you drop this line of discussion. I am not a suspect, I am your girlfriend."

"I'm aware of that! But you're not letting me be your girlfriend. It's been 5 days of exceptionally speedy contact and now you're ringing me in the middle of the night telling me you're uncomfortable but you're okay with it... and that's bullshit, Maura! That's not you!"

"I'm fine!"

"You're angry! And that's the only reason you can say that to me without hyperventilating. Just think about it okay? You've gone back into your shell. And I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm saying it because you and me, we live in the real world where shit happens and it takes a hell of a time coming to terms with it. It's not logical, and you can keep it tidy in a locked box where you can just forget about it! I care about you, damn it! And I'm tired of not being able to reach you... I'm tired of this… whatever it is that's stretching between us! I've had it!"

"Well, then I'd best go…"

"NO! Don't…!"

"Get some rest, goodnight, Detective."

"Damn it!... No! Maura!"

She's up on her knees. "You're hanging up on me?" And stares at her phone. "She fuckin' hung up on me!" She throws it, getting up, and yelling at no-one. "God! Son of a bitch!" But she's more annoyed with herself. "You idiot!" She paces out into the living room. "You dumb fuck, Rizzoli!" She falls to the couch. "Shit." And breathes heavy.

Little does she know that as much as she is frustrated, Maura is equally distressed miles away. The ME has no comprehension of what has just happened. All she knows is that her logic has failed her yet again.

* * *

><p>Jane was steaming. She'd tried time and time again to get in contact with Maura but she wasn't answering her calls or responding to her texts. She'd really blown it this time, and she hated herself for it.<p>

She'd made it to work looking like crap, and had snapped her way through the first 4 hours with Frost and Korsak feeling at a loss. Finally, Korsak stepped in, after Jane had slammed her fingers in her draw in a huff.

"Out with it," he says.

They sit in a local coffee shop nearby. It's a place they often go when needing to talk through something heavy in nature.

"Out with what?"

"With whatever's got your nickers in a knott!"

"Ugh! Nothing! I'm not talking about it!"

"You know what I think?"

"Do I wanna know?"

"You were fine when you left yesterday, so either you went out on a bad date or it's family business."

"Neither, so you're wrong old man."

"Then it's Maura."

This stumped her, and she fell silent. Her worries and concern for the spoken namesake caught her breath and shook her as she inhaled.

"So, what's going on, Janie? I'm waitin'."

She searches for what to say behind crossed arms and a clenched jaw.

"We fought," she says, "Last night."

"About what?"

She gives him a look. She really doesn't want to talk about it.

"Look, from where I stand your days not getting any better, so you might as well deal with somethin'."

She uncurls some, and sighs.

"I… I was just trying to help. She's over there in New York and she's not right. So, I…"

"Played detective and it backfired."

She sulks in her seat. "How'd you know?"

"Cause you're a bulldog."

"I'm a what!" She's incredulous.

"You force you're way into trouble. It's what makes you a great detective, nothing stops you, but you're dealing with the high crowd with Maura, and being a bulldog's not gonna work out."

"How very poetic of you, Korsak."

"Think about it, Jane. She's grown up in a different world from us. People in your business cause they want somethin' from you, not because they give a damn. She's gotta put on a 24/7 show. And then she's here, slummin' it with us, building a network that gives a damn if those tears are real or not, but still she has to go back to the high life, albeit intermittently."

"She's living in two worlds…"

"With different social requirements, etiquettes, expectations."

"Oh, man!" She twitches in her seat. "I am such a fuck up!" She pushes herself forward and crushes her head with her hands.

"Talk to her, Janie. Tell her it doesn't matter to you, and be patient for christ's sake!"

She heads back to the office on her own needing time to think. She's calls Maura's mobile but gets her voicemail and leaves a message.

'I'm sorry, Maur. Please… will ya call me back? I won't highlight our differences anymore. I'll just listen… I'll listen to whatever you wanna talk or not talk about, okay? I promise… I'm… I'm sorry… just call me… 'kay, Bye.'

* * *

><p>Jane raced to the airport for pick up duties. By the end of the day she'd had word from Maura she was coming home. It was a brief and slightly awkward phone call where apologies were offered and accepted. Jane was currently waiting impatiently at the arrivals gate, thinking of ways she can prove her preparedness for understanding to Maura.<p>

She spots her very weary doctor and moves in.

"Hey…" They make eye contact and share weary smiles. "Can I...?"

She offers a hug and Maura accepts. Her doctor leans in and her reply is muffled.

"Hi, Jane."

Maura lets her eyes close giving herself over to the detective's warmth, finally able to ignore the crowd that surrounds her. Soon however, it becomes too much and they're knocked off balance one too many times. Jane moves them off to the side and Maura takes a moment to look at her properly. They pause by the wall gently touching.

"You okay?"

"Yes… it's good to see you."

"I'm sorry, Maur…"

"It's okay... Actually, I've had time to think on the plane about what you said… and I believe that some of what you said was accurate. I do have things that I could share with you, troubling things that I've learned to hide and not speak of. Only I never realised it was so ingrained in me and somewhat abusive to my psyche until this visit."

"Well, I promised I wouldn't push, and I meant it. We'll leave it at your own pace, okay? I promise... C'mere…"

She pulls her into another embrace, and they both hum in appreciation.

"You look exhausted, sweetie."

"Thank you."

"I mean, you look beautiful, but exhausted."

"Well… it has been a long week. I would like a kiss, but I understand in this environment…"

Her words are broken by Jane's lips.

"I don't care about anyone else," her detective whispers, "I do care about you, however, and in getting you home." Jane kisses her again before moving away. "C'mon."

She guides her girl and suitcase back to the car. They head back to Maura's where the ME is most comfortable. Jo Friday and Bass greet her in the hallway, and all their familiarity and attention brings tears to her eyes.

"C'mon, sweetie," Jane says, "Let's run you a bath, and I go make us some dinner."

"I don't expect you to…"

"Noo," she extends the length of the vowel for the length of the stairs, guiding the woman up and into her bedroom. "I'm taking care of you… now, here are your personables," she puts the smaller square case into Maura's hands, "… and I expect to see your clean little butt downstairs for dinner in 30 minutes."

"Jane…" The doctor whines a little. "I feel like a child."

"No arguments." She takes Maura's face in her hands, giving her a soft and tender kiss. "I'll come back and make sure you haven't fallen asleep."

"That won't be necessary," Maura calls out as she exits.

"Oh, but I think it will be!"

Jane flies down the stairs thinking she's getting pretty good at this 'taking care of' business.

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><p>Please review. :) xx<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the re-post. Had to fix an error, nothing major to the plot but it needed to be done. Thanks.

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><p><em>Two weeks later...<em>

A disgruntled detective arrives home, thankful to find her girl waiting inside, academic journal in hand and a cup of tea resting on the kitchen counter beside her.

"Hey..." She smiles, feeling some of the days annoyance wash away from her shoulders. She tosses her keys and kicks the door shut, moving forward with an item not normally linked to her persona.

"What is that?"

"Really, Maur? You tryin' to tell me you've never seen one-a these before?"

The doctor sighs. "It's a garment bag, Jane."

"Why yes… yes it is." And throws it haphazardly across the counter.

"And would it be accurate to suggest that there is a dress inside?" she asks, as Jane sidles up close, wrapping her arms around her.

"You're too good, baby," she toys, rewarding Maura with a long awaited kiss.

"Mm, you think so? Shall I continue then, with my surmising?"

"By all means…"

Maura looks down at the black, silver trimmed bag while allowing herself to lean into Jane's embrace. "Well... as it stands, you've come home with what I imagine to be a gorgeous dress…"

"Don't know, haven't seen it."

"… one that I expect has been provided to you, for you to wear on a date that would not include me. Am I correct?"

"You're flawless..." Jane kisses her jawline. "Please continue..."

"Mmm... well, I guess... no, I don't mean that, I mean to hypothesize..." But it's too difficult, as Jane is resting as much surface area of her lithe body against her, the detective's lips dwelling in the softness of her pale skin and the slight catch of breath caused and felt. "God... you're distracting me..."

"M-hmm... I think that's the plan, babe."

Closing her eyes, the ME struggles to choose between nutting out just what Angela has planned for Jane, where and when, or finally succumbing to the tension that's been building up for weeks, and letting the next step in their relationship take place.

"Why Dr. Isles..." She feels Jane's whisper caress her ear. "Are we losing focus?"

She pulls away, the moment is gone. "You know I hate it when you do that, using Byron's royal 'we' against me. It irked me just as much as it did you..."

"Oh, I doubt that." Jane kisses her. "And besides, you know I can't resist."

"Well, you should!"

Her detective laughs and cuddles into her. "Okay, okay... I'm sorry," she pacifies. "So... dress..." She waves at it. "Continue..."

Maura huffs, allowing herself to be held again, taking a deep breath to calm her insides. "I feel almost certain that this 'date' has been sourced and supplied to you by your mother."

"Bingo!"

And she suddenly feels very tired.

"Hey..." Jane felt her deflation. "You're right, and I'm sorry... it sucks... but that was some awesome conjecture you had going on there, baby... maybe you could integrate those newly acquired skills into the processing of our next case?"

Maura shoves her, smiling some. "Don't push it, detective."

Jane pulls her in for a heartfelt kiss. "Lemme just get a drink before we continue with this, okay?"

"Of course."

She is released, and the brunette moves to the fridge to get a well-earned beer.

"Can I see it?"

Her eyebrows raise along with the bottle hitting her lips. She pauses mid-swallow.

"Is that really the point?"

"No, not at all, but as horrifying as the thought of you actually participating in this date, your mother does have very good taste in evening wear."

"Ugh, c'mon Maur! It's just a rental… I can't believe she's even done this. Do you know she was too chicken to come and speak to me this time? Left it on my desk with a crummy little note." She sighs. "It's probably been worn over a hundred times."

"But... never the less..." She couldn't help herself. She had to see it.

"Fine… go ahead and admire, but you're never gonna see me in it."

Maura hops up excitedly, taking the bag, and hanging it from one of the kitchen cupboards. She opens the zipper and releases the deep burgundy dress from inside, pulling it clear from the base of the bag.

"Oh, Jane… this is… you would look beautiful in this."

"Like I said, not gonna wear it."

Jane sits and takes another sip of her beer.

"Not even for me? We could, how do you say it? 'Hijack' the idea…?" Maura smiles, looking very pleased with herself for the phrase of term. "We could go out on a date of our own, and you could wear it. After all it'd be a shame to waste the hire fee."

She leaves the garment to slide her arms around Jane in a sense of mischief.

"I'd love to show you off…"

"Don't…"

The atmosphere has suddenly changed. She's shocked and pulls back, her hands left where her arms had lain upon Jane's waist.

"Don't what?"

But her love doesn't meet her eyes, and pulls away.

"Jane?"

"Just forget it, Maur. I'm not some rent-a-cop to be pawned out for show." She takes a final swig and puts her beer down a little too hard. "I'm takin' a shower."

"Jane…" But it's too late, and she's down the hall. "But... I don't understand," the ME says to no-one, her heart a little broken and the dress ignored.

* * *

><p>Maura cuddles up again, pulling Jane's arms around her and nestling in. They hadn't spoken about their disagreement, if you could call it that. The detective had simply returned from her shower and behaved as if nothing had happened. Though it was confusing, the ME decided to let it rest and try to enjoy their evening still.<p>

"You okay?"

Jane had noticed that Maura had been quite clingy since her return, but she'd thought better about using those exact words when asking about it.

"Yes, of course." She looks up. "Why?"

"Nothing… it's just… you've been extra cuddly since you got back." And Maura's racy side had been a little toned down in comparison to before she'd left for the trip.

She shrugs, looking back to the tv. "Haven't you ever just wanted to be held?" Her voice was a little quiet.

"Sure… that's what I had Ma for."

"Mm, well, I have you, and I find it very comforting when you hold me."

Jane whispers, "I'm glad to hear that." And kisses her temple as they sit in silence, watching an old rerun of the television series, The Good Life. At the next advert Maura closes her eyes, loosing herself to the senses of touch and smell, the touch of Jane.

"I used to crave this," she says so softly.

"Crave what?"

"To be held, just like this."

Jane looks down and admires her profile. "Yeah?" But feels troubled.

"M-hm… my earliest recollection of such longing was when I was four years old. My mother and I had just visited with an acquaintance of hers, and I saw the interaction between this woman and her child. She nurtured through physical touch... their connection both warmed and intrigued me."

"Intrigued you?"

"Yes… Long after our visit I would wonder what it would be like to simply jump onto my mother's lap for a cuddle, or to climb all over her as if she were a play gym, like the other little girl had."

"You tellin' me you never did that?" Jane was horrified.

"No… no, of course not, but I can understand why you would be surprised by that. Having Angela as your mother I have no doubt that you would have been able to experience that… she's so warm and motherly."

"You can add demanding and infuriating to that list, as well," she jokes.

Even though she was being flippant, Jane was struggling to get her head around what Maura was hinting at. She squeezes her love, feeling a need for comfort of her own.

"So, let me get this straight… you're saying that you never felt comfortable enough to just go and climb on your mother's lap or tug at her trouser leg when you needed a hug?"

"It wasn't a matter of being comfortable with it," Maura says absently, "it just wasn't done. That kind of behaviour was considered inappropriate… but again, I'm glad that you did, and could." She kisses Jane's cheek and rests there. "Parent to child intimacy studies have shown that appropriate and constant levels of loving, physical contact can provide a positive influence on the child. As the levels of appropriate contact increases, so does the child's sense of security and self-esteem."

This causes an added squeeze and Maura smiles into the detectives cheek.

"Well, I was always a daddy's girl… I can't even begin to think of what it would've been like without Pop's hugs. It's part of why I miss him so much now, you know… now that he's not around."

Jane had adored the time she'd spent with her father growing up. They'd watch baseball, or share a tray of dinner while watching his favourite show. She'd always felt like she was his favourite. Frankie and Tommy would complain about it, but he'd always shut them down saying he wanted to spend some time with his girl. He didn't have to do much either. He probably wasn't even present in his state of mind, but his arms were around her and she could relax and feel safe from her annoying brothers for an hour or so.

"What about your Dad? You ever get cuddle-time with him?"

The mere suggestion caused an involuntary reaction, not unlike a shudder. Along with a speedy negative response, Jane felt a worrying curiosity stir within.

"What are you not telling me, babygirl?"

She whispers it, knowing she could be touching a raw nerve.

"It's fine, Jane. My childhood was just different to yours, that's all."

"Yeah, and I'd be a dumb ass if I believed that..."

Maura shifts away to sit on the edge of the couch and sighs.

"Maur… honey?"

Jane moves to rub her back but the blonde shifts away.

"I'm going to bed."

"Oh, c'mon, Maur, please?"

"No, Jane…" She keeps her back to her. "There's nothing to talk about. This evening has been… strained. Perhaps we should just go to bed and say goodnight to it."

She gets up and walks away, her head down as she travels to the bedroom.

"The hell there's nothing to talk about," Jane mutters. '_For both of us…' _And she sighs hard. "Fuck it…"

She drags herself up, switching off the lights and checking the doors before heading to bed. By the time she's changed, Maura exits the bathroom in her sleepwear, shorts and a slimming tee. There's an awkward silence between them so Jane decides to use the bathroom to let Maura settle down in bed first.

* * *

><p>They lie in the dark, side by side, and not touching. There's an unseen barrier resting between them tonight and Jane doesn't know why. She thinks about the ME's behaviour lately, and realises there's been a slow but rising tension within. Their initial reunion had brought about a wonderful connection, both thankful for having the opportunity to be close again; but as the days wore on, Maura had sought comfort more than anything else and it worried Jane that she was doing something wrong.<p>

She feels the covers shift and looks over to see Maura ease her hands out from underneath and cover her eyes. She waits, unmoving, with her head turned watching a very troubled silhouette.

"Maura?" She says quietly. "I know you don't wanna talk about it... but there's somethin' you gotta know about me… I won't tolerate anyone hurting you, now or in the past, and I sure as hell won't let you hurt yourself by hiding it." She waits patiently but Maura continues to hide. "Please, baby… nothing's gonna happen if you just say it... please... just say it."

After several more minutes of strained silence, Maura finally gives in.

"My father touched me once… inappropriately…"

The words strike at Jane's heart, catching her breath. "Tell me..."

She remains hidden, beneath a mask of fingertips, but she does finally try to explain the unexplainable.

"He was intoxicated… his ego had been terribly inflated after one of his university events. He'd given a speech, and mother and I had both had to attend, dressing up extravagantly."

She drops her hands to her chest.

"It was all rather theatrical... the kind of evening I was used to but I never truly enjoyed it."

Jane rolls onto her side, keeping herself low so as not to tower over her.

"We arrived home. My mother left us to prepare for bed and I… I moved in to give him a hug goodnight… He kissed me… not a harmless peck, but a foul and desperately firm kiss…" She touches her mouth. "He hurt my lips..."

Jane is stunned, not only by the content but by the sound of Maura's voice. It's like she's slightly removed from reality.

"He pushed me against the wall… or… maybe it was the door to the study? I can't remember. I was disoriented… He touched my breasts, squeezed them harshly, and palmed my crotch… and then he suddenly, but thankfully, stopped."

If it wasn't for the meaning of her words, Maura's tone would never indicate how truly awful and confusing the experience was. Jane was hot with worry, her body still as she braces herself to keep listening.

"I think I must have yelled something and that was the key to making him stop… but then… I felt somehow responsible… I even felt sorry for him… sorry for the man who was struck panting and leaning against me in shock."

Maura's dear heart comes into the mix and her voice is strangled. "I wanted him off me as quickly as possible, but he was still pressing me into the wall in his drunken state." She takes a breath. "I did the only thing I could think of to make it end… I told him it was okay."

But it wasn't…

And Jane wanted to scream it out loud, preferably in the offender's face. She fought herself hard not to lose it, but the words squeeze out upon her breath. Maura looks to her, for reassurance.

"I know it wasn't okay, but I didn't know what else to do…" And now the tears come in full force. "I was only fourteen, and I…"

"Shush, baby, it wasn't your fault..."

She moves to stroke her cheek but Maura hides herself behind her own hands, squeezing the life out of her face. Her actions hurt Jane without meaning to, and not being sure about whether to hold her or not, she places a gentle touch to Maura's wrists, urging for her to resurface.

"Baby, stop..."

"I don't know why I told you this…" Her voice is strained, and she's shaking.

"Because you needed to…" She struggles to watch Maura fight against her pain. "C'mere, please? I can't bear this..." and scoops Maura into her arms.

Once her initial hold is accepted, she moves them both up to rest against the headboard, moving pillows to create extra comfort. She desperately wants Maura to feel safe and not threatened by the gesture of lying together romantically.

"I'm sorry, I'm not doing this in order to re-live it…"

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"No…" She swipes at her face, annoyed by her tears. "I know that… but that's not the point of why I'm telling you."

"What?"

"All this time, Jane, I could never understand it. The things he'd say, even if he didn't have the courage to do more..."

"Courage? I'll thank Christ for him not having the courage!"

"You're not listening! I couldn't understand the relationship between us but I believe I understand it now…"

"Maura. He could just be an asshole..."

"But he's not... don't you see? I don't think he ever saw me as his own, he never has, or he wouldn't have done what he did. I watched him on this last trip as he watched me… and he doesn't see me at all as he should. He doesn't see me as his daughter. He leers at me, considers me fair play..."

"Fair game…" Jane grimaces at her automated response.

"Thank you, fair game…" But Maura takes it in stride and continues on. "... and I couldn't believe the little comments he was making. He'd always been so sly about it in the past, but this time some of his business associates overheard and I waited to see if they'd say anything but they simply laughed along or walked away. This is why I struggle sometimes! I grew up not asking, not talking in real terms but hiding away. Even at dinner, the night before I returned, he made several suggestive remarks. They may not have been explicit but nevertheless it was still highly unsuitable, but as far as everyone else at the table was concerned, I was on my own. I had to deal with it by playing the dutiful, respectful daughter and ignore it. It made me feel sick."

Fatigue begins to set in and Maura sighs. She rests her head, leaning completely against Jane, her body limp in her arms.

"I know I should feel awful telling you this… it's never been something I could ever discuss, but I find myself being grateful for having you... and the strength of our relationship has allowed me to see the problem for what it is, that it's not mine, but his."

She shifts to look at Jane, and touches her face.

"It's all because of one little phone call with you… the day I phoned and became teary upon hearing your voice, do you remember?"

Jane nods, and kisses her palm as it brushes by.

"At that very moment you helped me to see that although I have to exist in their world on the odd occasion, I don't have to live and experience it as they do, as I once did. I can break the rules... and I'll still have you sitting here at home, grinning at me and loving me for who I am. I can allow myself to react openly… or as you would say… to be real."

Jane held her closer, kissing her forehead and then her cheeks. "I'm so sorry you've had to hold this inside for so long."

She gathers some tissues from the night stand and helps clean Maura's general state. Once she's refreshed Jane holds her close again and says, "And for the record… anytime you wanna play cuddlebug, my laps always available."

Maura laughs. "What about when your mother's around or we're at work?"

"Well, we'll just have to think up some sort of code so we can be sure to get somewhere nice and private."

She puts the clock radio on for a gentle distraction and Maura rests in the crook of her neck. The ME plays with Jane's fingers as an arm brushes slowly up and down her spine. She senses a question coming and prompts for it.

"Go ahead… ask me."

"I guess I'm wondering... does that mean your mum never found out, about that particular incident?"

"I don't know exactly… I believe she knows something happened, but I don't know what it was that she saw. She found me flustered and upset afterwards, but never asked why and I never had the courage to say anything about it. She simply encouraged me to go to bed and get some rest, and it became something we never spoke of, regardless of his behaviour on future occasions."

"God... you better not let me meet him, Maura, or I'm telling you, I could end up gettin' arrested."

"Jane…"

"I'm sorry but you can't expect me to feel any other way… and your mother sure has a lot to answer for too…"

"Please don't…"

"I won't... I won't go off on a witch hunt. I know that won't be helpful, but still…" She huffs, trying to settle herself. "Thank you for telling me."

"You're the only one I could ever possibly tell." She presses her lips to Jane's neck in fond appreciation. "And when you're ready," she says softly, "I'd like for you to explain your response to the idea of me showing you off in that beautiful dress your mother rented."

Her love immediately tenses.

"Not tonight, sweetheart… I merely want to understand what was so offensive to you, so that I don't trigger the same response in the future." She pulls back and caresses the brunette's face. "I never want to make you feel uncomfortable… and I won't push for an explanation, I promise. I want to show you the same level of patience and understanding you've shown me lately." She kisses her gently, making Jane's heart catch and her eyes close. "I love you, Jane," she breathes as they part, "but I place no expectation upon you because of it. I want you to know that."

Strong arms embrace her more thoroughly, and a lover's kiss is placed on her lips. They slide further down in bed and all heartache is lost as they reconnect, encapsulating the moment of Maura's declaration, those three little words that mean so much.

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><p>Please review... Thanks, Tj. xx<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry it's taken so long... and thanks for the reminder msj12991.

Cheers,

Tj. xx

* * *

><p>Maura wakes up to the mattress shifting, as Jane reaches across her body for her phone.<p>

"Mm… what's happening? Is it time to get up?"

"Nope…" She rests above her, wiggling the doctors mobile before sleepy eyes. "We're playin' hookie."

"Hm? What is hookie?"

"Y'know, skipping, ditching, skiving…" Jane laughs. Maura seems a little slow this morning. "We're not going to work!"

"Oh!" Their wide grins match until Maura's becomes apprehensive. "But Jane, we can't… that is to say, we shouldn't."

Jane rests against her more comfortably. "We can…" She says softly, giving Maura a kiss. "We absolutely should…" Giving her another long kiss. "And we will." Her voice barely a whisper as she brushes her nose against Maura catching her breath.

The next few minutes create an atmosphere of moans and a glorious awakening for the doctor. Their legs tangle and the phone falls by the way side. Coming up for air, Jane attempts to remember her plan, and where she was going with all this.

"Frost is covering for me. All we gotta do is create some symptoms for you so you can phone in without hyperventilating."

Maura is breathless. "But I don't have any symptoms..." Her eyes follow as Jane crawls slowly below the covers. "Somehow I don't think this is going to work…" She feels her legs being separated as Jane rests in between them. "You know I can't lie…" And then her nightshirt is lifted. "I haven't been able to since the 5th grade and…" Soft, delicate kisses trail from her bellybutton to her pantyline. "Oh… god…"

"Make the call."

Maura arches as Jane trails her lips across to the dip of her left hip bone. "Make the call Maur..." Her lips begin moving towards the other… Fingers lost in her dark, silken hair.

"Jane…" Maura's eyes close, enraptured in sensation. "You can't expect me to…" Her voice is full of arousal. "… to talk with someone while you're doing this."

Her detective stops.

"No..!" She opens her eyes. "Why did you stop?"

Jane's glare softens involuntarily into a smile. "Because you have a job to do, and that is to tell your first white lie so that we can spend the day together without our job getting in the way." She rests her cheek against Maura's pelvis, her hands and forearms hugging her hips. "It's just one day, sweetie." She kisses her tummy. "Please, try and do this for me, okay?"

The gentle heart beating against her spurs her on. She touches Jane's face and then searches for her lost phone. As Maura finds the correct number, she looks back with a silent request for Jane to continue.

"Goodmorning, Dr Pike…" Her voice catches as Jane's tongue traces the edge of her panties. "I… I'm calling…" She can't focus and clears her throat. "I'm calling as I'm unable to come into work today…" She gasps, slapping her hand across her mouth. Maura listens to his griping, both thankful and annoyed that he's ruining Jane's intensity and lowering her sexual thoughts. She breathes deeply, releasing her mouth, feeling able to move on. "Well, I seem to have an unusually high temperature and I'm struggling to get out of bed. I simply can't make it."

A muffled giggle surfaces from below the sheets.

"No… I should be fine by tomorrow." A silent laugh rips through her, bouncing Jane and she rushes off the phone. "I must go. Thank you Dr Pike, goodbye." The phone is dropped, her head falls back and she releases a loud moan. "Jane Rizzoli, you'd better get up here and show some attention to my lips!"

She laughs and crawls back up to do just that.

"You did it, baby."

"I did…" Maura is shocked. "I did!"

Jane captures her in a little tickle attack.

"No!"

"Who's the badass now, huh?"

"Jane!" She laughs and she squirms, happily.

"You did good, baby!"

After last night, all Jane wanted to do was make Maura feel loved and happy, and she couldn't do that if they were separated from each other for most of the day. Receiving a surprise attack she's suddenly pinned with the doctor above her. She receives a loving, but chaste kiss.

"I do believe you're a bad influence on me, detective."

Jane laughs. "Is that really a surprise, sweetie?" And accepts Maura's body full weight.

"No… it's not a surprise... and I didn't say that I minded either."

They pant from over exposure and their breath mingles.

"Good."

Their intimacy providing an open display of heart.

"Thank you…" Maura whispers, as Jane tucks stray hair away from her face.

"What for?"

"For this…" She leans in and kisses her. "Just this."

Jane pulls back the breath that is lost to her.

"This is love, Maur…" She holds her close, and whispers into her mouth, "This is love…"

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><p>Please review. Thanks. xx<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

You're all frickin' awesome! Thank you! Tj. xx

(Amended 2/26... sorry! Found some issues I had to fix. Should be a better read now but nothing major's changed if you're not inclined to read again. Cheers!)

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><p>Previously:<p>

_Jane pulls back the breath that is lost to her._

_"This is love, Maur…" She holds her close, and whispers into her mouth, "This is love…"_

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><p>She tangles her lips and her legs with Maura's knowing her declaration is true, and for the first time, meant with certainty. The mood settles thick around them as their kisses deepen. Soft, delicate tones of pleasure fill the air and Jane smiles, her lips parting from their tactile motion as she looks up for reassurance.<p>

Falling blonde hair frames her vision, and it's clear Maura has never looked so beautiful.

"Okay?" she whispers, receiving a smile and subtle response.

They come together again, shifting, and rolling as their bodies adjust to their relentless need to be close. Gravity pulls Maura further into the mattress, and Jane supports her head with a loving hand as she's holds her close and follows.

A silent discussion is at play, by means of touch and intuition. Nothing is shed. Their tank and panties remain, and Jane moves completely above her in a full bodied caress.

"I'm not crushing you, am I?"

"No sweetheart, you feel good against me."

Their hips shift instinctively for more contact, and the need for air becomes overwhelming.

"You feel so good, Jane..." Maura whispers, adoring the moan that vibrates against her chest.

They move slowly, together, kissing and absorbing each other's touch. Uncertain whether to ask for more or whether to stop, Jane asks, and receives a heated kiss of encouragement.

"I want to come…" Maura breathes, "And I want you to make me come…"

She cradles the detective's brown locks, giving herself space to breathe and receive more of her kisses. Her words draw out a lengthy moan and a query for less clothing.

"Um… shouldn't we be losin' some clothing?"

"There are many ways for women to be stimulated to orgasm…," she pants in reply, "… and right now, Jane... I don't want you moving anywhere else but against me... like this."

"Oh damn..."

She lies hidden against Maura's neckline, closing her eyes and losing sight of her inhibitions. She pants as she kisses the soft skin pulsing nearest to her mouth. "Baby, I can feel you…" she breathes, "Please, tell me that's you…" The sensation is altogether new and glorious.

Maura palms her breasts and then grips her ass for more friction.

"Oh god…"

"It's me, Jane… I'm so close... don't stop…"

Feeling confident once again, she brushes her lips and tongue against Maura's increasing their rhythm and arching her back. Her left hand travels down to a strong thigh wrapped around her, and moves to grip onto the blonde's toned buttock. Extreme want and need flows through her, and she can no longer feel the skimpy clothes in between them. She hears Maura gasping, feels her hands clinging to her body, and the realisation hits her that this is finally happening. "I want you…" Her words fly out. "I want to make you come…"

Maura crashes their lips together, moaning, as a sudden wave of pleasure pulsates through her, from her body and into Jane's. "Oh, god!"

They both come apart with Jane shaking and clinging to Maura, panting into her mouth.

"Oh Jane…" They breathe and kiss, and breathe some more. "Sweetheart..." And Maura is in awe that her love has finally let go.

Their physical tremors calm, but a slightly altered rhythm continues on. They bathe in the way their bodies touch, and the sensitivity they've generated.

Jane kisses her thoroughly. "I love you…" And loses herself in teary eyes. She caresses Maura's face and moves her hair gently out of the way. It is a beautifully intimate moment, their most intimate by far.

"I love you too," the doctor replies, as tears fall across her temples and into her hairline.

"Hey... baby, don't cry…" Jane whispers, but her eyes shed happy tears anyway.

She tries to signal that she's okay and Jane smiles down upon her. "I'm okay…" she says, "I'm happy."

"Well, I'd kinda hoped so…"

Making her laugh as she brushes her tears away.

"I get it, though, I do." The cynical detective finding her own eyes moisten with a full heart. She maintains her tenderness but is then interrupted by an unexpected and unwanted ring tone. "Ugh... no..." She sinks into Maura, and sighs deeply. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"Who is it?" Maura asks, as she tries to get herself under control.

A muffled, "Frost" comes from beneath her chin and she gives Jane a squeeze.

"Don't you think you should answer it?"

"Probably…" But no action is taken, Jane is too annoyed that her plans for the day might now be shattered.

"Answer it, sweetheart. It might be important."

A low growl is emitted making Maura laugh, before Jane fumbles against the nightstand in search of her phone.

"Goddammit…" She grumbles. "I can't have _one day_ without being at someone's beck and call." She answers, "What!"

"Hey, ah… Jane…?" He's hesitant.

"Get on with it Frost."

"Whatever you're needin' to do today, you better be doing it away from home cause your Ma's on her way over."

"What?" she barks, still draped over her favourite and now highly amused doctor. "I told you to cover for me!" she whines.

"Hey, I told her not to worry but you know your…"

"… Ma, yeah... unfortunately, I do. God, I can't get a moments peace from that woman! Thanks for the heads up."

"No problem partner. I'll see ya."

She hangs up and moans into the nearest pillow. Maura strokes her back and kisses her temple.

"Your mother's coming?"

"U-huh... just my luck."

"Well, we need to shower and get dressed. I'd say we have about 20 minutes."

"No, we have 15. I wanna be out of here before she arrives."

"Jane, how am I supposed to get ready in such a short amount of time?"

She pushes up, and admires flushed features. "You'll do it because you have to, 'cause if you don't, Ma will question you about why we've both taken a day off and look like we've just got out of bed after indulging in a certain kind of physical activity she's not expecting us to indulge in."

Raising her eyebrows to take the hint, the doc finally sees her logic, and she's given a very quick kiss before being shoved off. "You feed Jo and I'll be ready as quickly as I can."

Jane laughs, her girlfriend's panic only mildly alleviated by her rasping chuckle.

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><p>Please review. Thanks. xx<p> 


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